#miles' dialogue throughout the first game is really comforting to me

[requiesticat]

For me it's Miles Upshur, from Outlast

(source)

I developed a bit of a crush on Leon after playing RE4, but so many people ship themselves with him that I figured it'd be better to go with a less popular character

SELFSHIPPERS PLEASE REBLOG THIS POST WITH YOUR FAVORITE GIF OR PICTURE OR CLIP OF YOUR F/O!! OR YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF MERCH WHETHER YOU OWN IT OR NOT!! ANY FAVORITES!!

i want to see all of your beloveds!!!

[dcrankamateur]

Dawn of DC Comics – 3rd October – Fire and Ice, Blue Beetle and Birds of Prey #2s

My focus this week is on the second issues of Fire and Ice, Birds of Prey and Blue Beetle. After strong starts for all three series, the second issues varied drastically in terms of tone and pace to somewhat mixed results.

Fire and Ice: Welcome to Smallville #2

On a two axis scale of tragedy – comedy and deliberative – frenetic on tone and pace respectively, the frenetic comedy of Fire and Ice worked best for me this week. Joanne Starer and Natacha Bustos’ sitcom-style storytelling suits the diametrically opposite personalities of Fire and Ice well. Where the last issue ended on somewhat of a downbeat, with Tora announcing to Bea that she no longer wanted to be a superhero, the mere fact that these two women with such a rich history but with wildly differing aspirations and motivations have to live under one roof lends itself brilliantly to comedy.

In her conceptions of both characters, Starer is blatantly as sticking to type to accentuate the awkwardness of the pairing. Tora is the bookish hipster with a desire to expand her interests and cooling on the superhero game whereas for Bea the need to prove herself burns brighter than ever. The plot ratchets up to pure absurdity as their Smallville Barber Shop becomes inundated with the minnows of the supervillain world before becoming a low budget reality TV show with Big Brother style diary rooms held in the toilets, much to a queuing and increasingly desperate Tam’s chagrin. Bustos’ art is quite classically cartoonish in this issue, with over the top reactions from background characters in particular emphasising the farcical nature of Bea’s plan and its effect on Tora. The jokes really landed and I found myself laughing throughout. But the fun does stop eventually as Bea’s social media experiment begins to verge on dangerous, and tensions fray between her and Tora once again. However, in classic sitcom fashion, the arrival of Jimmy Olsen at the end of the issue ensures that Bea and Tora live to fight another die.

Blue Beetle #2

That said, Bea and Tora are certainly better off in their own series than they are during their appearance in the tragic and frenetic Blue Beetle #2. After an initial moment of contemplation as Ted Kord lies injured in hospital, in which Tora comforts Jaime, the issue moves at a million miles an hour as the Blood Scarab rips through the supporting cast of the issue one by one before getting to Jaime and declaring that that’s enough for one issue, thanks. Be back soon.

The action scenes are so dynamic and fast moving without being overwhelming largely because writer Josh Trujillo trusts Adrian Gutierrez to convey the chaos during these scenes. Occasional dialogue, typically reserved for characters remarking upon how screwed they are, serves as framing for Gutierrez’s creative use of panelling, which evokes the feeling of the Blood Scarab closing in on its victim, leaving them nowhere to run.

As a new reader my biggest issue with this series so far is that I actually don’t know much about Jaime Reyes himself so I’ve found it harder to connect with him than with the characters I’ve been introduced to in other Dawn of DC stories. This is not the writer’s fault, and I’m certainly not advocating a return to Shooter’s Marvel of the 80s where the first page gives you the entire character’s history all over again. I may be getting into background reading and research time which I believe is absolutely fine to expect of a reader, although not within the scope of this project initially.

Birds of Prey #2

In stark contrast to Blue Beetle, Birds of Prey #2 was rather more introspective and dialogue focussed. The team dynamics, by design, continue to be comedically awkward with each team members’ motivations being tested by a mission they signed up to without full possession of the facts. The pop art style doesn’t quite work as well as it did in Issue 1, with the lengthy conversations between team members feeling quite stiff. Bellaire’s colours feel slightly washed out because of the darkness of the setting (a dimly lit basement room), which contributes to this lack of momentum in the scene. The tension between Harley Quinn and Black Canary drive provide the scenes with the most comedic energy, but the other team feels peripheral. This means that when characters like Zealot and Barda receive a bit of focus, they are brief and less compelling. The series in its early stage are an intentional pivot away from the warmth and friendship of Gail Simone’s conception of the team, which can make it feel unrecognisable as a Birds of Prey series at times. That said, friendships aren’t forged overnight, and there are already signs of promise between Barda and Cassandra Cain for example, so I’m not writing this off as a destination point for the series.

Where the issue does excel is in the fight scenes, where Romero’s style becomes much more kinetic, with the setting lending itself far more to pops of pastel colours. This issue serves as a bridge between the opening salvo of the team come together for the first time and their mission in Themyscira. With the team leaving the darkened basement and taking to the sea, King Shark in tow, the comedic tone to the series should come into its own.

[gingersnappish]

KYLUX RECS 2020-2021

My Kylux Recs in the last year (Aug, 20 2020 - Aug 20 2021)

SO. MUCH. GOOD. FIC!!! We are really lucky in this fandom to have so much good stuff to read!

Fic is part of the lifeblood of fandom, in my opinion-it shares new ideas and AUs and fleshes out the characters and most of all it inspires and entertains us all and engenders all sorts of feels for the characters-it’s part of what keeps us shipping! So a big ‘thank you’ to all the fic authors out there who work so hard at their craft and are generous enough to share it with all of us!

The following list is by no means comprehensive-there are LOTS and lots more very good fics that have been published in the last year that I haven’t read. I just wanted to offer up a few recs from what I know I enjoyed so far! (I also have more than fits on one list to rec-I’ll try and do another list soon!) As always, I rec based on personal taste, and I highly encourage reading all the tags/warnings on any given work to make sure it’ll be to your taste! -

The Flirtation Of Flowers 

DaisyChainz

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29771553

Words: 5,917

Rating: Teen

Summary:Kylo runs his farm's stall at the Farmer's Market every weekend. He has a new customer, a gorgeous redhead that is curious about the meanings of his bouquets. Kylo doesn't know anything about that, so he makes stuff up to keep the man coming back every week.

My thoughts on the rec: This is the cutest slice of a modern AU kylux-it really nails Kylo’s personality as a (slightly awkward) flirt who is trying his best and just really likes the redhead who keeps coming to buy flowers. Just a sweet little fic all ‘round!

all i have to do is dream

kyluxtrashcompactor

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18709426/chapters/44373613

Words: 11,456

Rating: Teen

Summary:Armitage Hux has been going to the same bar every Thursday for the last year, nursing a crush on the gorgeous, unobtainable bartender, Kylo Ren. He finally gets up the courage to ask him out, only to find out he has some unusual competition: the memory of a red-haired boy from Kylo's past, who Kylo swears is the soulmate that got away from him.A fill for this SoftKyluxKinks prompt:Anonymous asked: Benarmie with young Ben (around 11 years old) having a huge crush on Armitage (16). Hux finds it adorable but mostly ignores him because he's a kid. Flash forward a few years when Ben is all grown up and Hux is the one with a huge crush.

My thoughts on the rec: This is another really cute young modern AU! I like the idea that Ren has liked Hux forever, but this deals nicely with the age gap and that Hux really wouldn’t notice Ren back until they are both appropriately older. And they make such a cute couple-it’s a great progression from just ‘he’s hot’-like, there is a lot more to them than that in the end!

Homecoming 

sigo 

(really, read anything by sigo, it’s all my favorite)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/27150808

Words: 13,450

Rating: Explicit

Summary:“We’re off the next two weeks, you know.”“Yes, I know.” There was emergency construction scheduled to fix cracking asphalt too near a pipe in the center of campus. The buses couldn’t run, and that phenomenon was the only thing that ever cancelled classes. Halloween was dead center in the unplanned time off school, and every bar within a fifteen mile radius would be untenable as the students celebrated. Hux was planning on staying home, catching up on grading. He was rather looking forward to an opportunity to reread his favorite novels. They were already stacked by the couch in preparation.“My family always throws a Halloween party and they got word that I could come this year,” Kylo said, shuffling his feet. He looked almost bashful.“Ren, it’s midnight,” Hux sighed at his infuriating coworker. “Get to it.”“I may have informed my entire family previously that we were dating.”

My thoughts on the rec: One of my all-around fav fics from the last year’s worth of my reading material! It’s got the modern AU vibes down pat without losing their personalities or making them too OOC, it’s got the fake-dating trope done REALLY well, it’s got a wonderful creepy vibe strung delicately throughout for the Halloween haunted setting, it’s got plot and make-outs (and more). Can’t recommend highly enough!

Thaw

thesevioletdelights

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28557180/chapters/69982587

Words: 14,316

Rating: Explicit

Summary:They have managed cooperation - efficient cooperation, even - in these past months, which is more than enough. And already nothing short of a miracle for both of them.Still. Ren was a fool to think he could simply run off and keep Hux in the dark.-----When Ren goes missing on a mysterious planet, Hux sets out to find him. He doesn't yet know that he just might find himself.

My thoughts on the rec: This, like all of violet’s fic, is HOT! Like, scorching vibes between them! It’ll draw you in and not let you go ‘til after the boys are ‘done’! And, like all of violet’s fics, the character voices and personalities are also impeccable!

Rocks Break Gifts

elderbwrry

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25840237/chapters/62777839

Words: 16,706

Rating: Mature

Summary:The Rebellion has been crushed, a coup affected, and Supreme Leader Ren and his Grand Marshall Hux have settled into a domestic routine as the joint rulers of the Galaxy. Kylo wants nothing more, now, than to make his relationship with Hux official, but he can't seem to rise to Hux's challenge of a satisfactory proposal.Or, the five times Kylo proposes, and the one time Hux says yes.

My thoughts on the rec: Ahhhhh, the premise in this one is great! Like, I don’t wanna spoil the plot reveal at the end, so I can’t say too much, but there is a really good reason throughout the thing that this is a Five Times type fic and it works! It works so well and while we spend the fic ‘with’ Kylo, when we find out what Hux’s deal is, it is so satisfying! I Paint My Dreams

Marlon

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26685907/chapters/65090566

Words: 26,122

Rating: General Audiences

Summary:Kylo Ren is struggling to make a name for himself in the art world but as the grandson of the great Anakin Skywalker, a legendary pop artist of the 1950s and 60s, the weight of his famous family and his own expectations is a lot to bear.After he’s rejected from a prestigious exhibition because his installations “don’t fit the theme”, Kylo heads to the pub to drink away his disappointment. Later that night as he stumbles home, he’s set upon by some would-be thieves but before they can take what’s left of his money, he’s saved by a strange man with unbelievable Medusa-like powers. The ethereally beautiful man, Armitage Hux, is a visitor from Oweynagat and he has a simple proposition for Kylo - room and board in exchange for making all Kylo’s artistic dreams come true.Sounds easy - what could possibly go wrong?

My thoughts on the rec: Oh goodness, where to start? The Irish Mythology and Fae aspect of this fic is superbly woven throughout the whole thing and the author makes it work really well! Like, this is such a unique and original take on the kylux pair, I love them, especially Fae!Hux in this! And the plot is solid and you get invested really heavily in how they are gonna wind up-at least I did! There’s some beautiful language in this-descriptions and dialogue! And I have a soft spot for Artist!Kylo!

Dating a Monster

mysticmilks

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26703904/chapters/65139415

Words: 30,401

Rating: Explicit

Summary:Ben Solo was raised to be a demon hunter, as everyone in his family has been before him. He wanted nothing more than to prove that he was worthy to his family. He lied to them and went on an unauthorized mission to catch and kill an elusive incubus. His search led him to Arkanis University, one of the most prestigious schools in the country.He was sure the mission was going to be easy, before he met the cute freshman Armitage Hux. This meeting would change the fate of both of them.

My thoughts on the rec: Add another really good one to the slightly-creepy-kylux subgenre filled with demons and dark powers! This is a great depiction of Kylo as a very determined demon hunter and Hux as a very unique quarry! I love the tension in parts of this too-well crafted! The Green Ribbon

xzombiexkittenx, Lilander (art)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28630845/chapters/70176921

Words: 39,679

Rating: Explicit

Summary:When Ben was fifteen he left the Jedi temple and took extreme measures to prevent the shadowy creature that infiltrated his thoughts from dragging him to the dark side. What he did left him with a great deal of chronic pain and removed his most valuable weapon, but Ben got his stubbornness from every side of the family, even the adopted ones, and he was determined to find and kill the creature.Now Senator Amidala of Naboo, Ben uses his position to make the galaxy a less awful place when he can, but being senator also gave him very useful contacts in his search for the creature. When he met Major Hux of the First Order, Ben thought he could get game-changing information out of him, one way or another, but things rarely go Ben's way and it got complicated much faster than Ben had prepared for. It's never a good idea to mix sex and politics, but Ben takes his fun where he can get it.

My thoughts on the rec: I feel like this is a very original take on ‘Senator Amidala’ Ben, at least from the stuff I’ve read-many props to the author for such a fleshed out universe, filled with likeable, believable OCs, a wonderful plot, great character motivations and voices, and a take on our main man Ben that pulled me in from the get-go! He’s sorta magnetic (in universe and to the reader)! And the sexual tension and sexy bits are very well done! I’m rooting for Ben and Hux in this, on opposites sides though they may be! Comfort Zone

LydiaBSlade

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26783797/chapters/65338117

Words: 66,766

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Hux is running away. He meets a tall, dark, and somewhat annoying stranger at the airport.

My thoughts on the rec: Travel writing at its best; also kylux fic at it’s best! Young, modern them trying to find their places in the world and finding each other in the process is so cute and almost tenderly done in this! This is a gentle, friendly version of modern Kylo that I fell in love with, right along with Hux! And by the way, I’m not kidding when I say travel writing-the southeast asian setting is vivid and enchanting in it’s rich detail! Outnumbered, Outgunned, Outmanuevered, and Winning

Coriesocks, Ellalba (art)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28217253/chapters/69144672

Words: 80,372

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Hux’s plans for ridding the First Order of Kylo Ren are ruined when Ren discovers his deception. With no choice but to flee, Hux ends up in the hands of the Resistance. It’s not ideal, but at least he gets a break from Ren. Until he doesn’t.When Ren starts appearing in Hux’s dreams, Hux wonders if the stress of being a spy has taken more of a toll on his sanity than he’d previously thought. And if that wasn’t bad enough, he has to deal with constant pestering from Poe and a mildly inconvenient kidnapping. Of course, it’s Ren who saves him in the end. There’s clearly no getting away from him.

My thoughts on the rec: A really interesting take on something that is both a alternate rewrite of what could have happened instead of TROS and a TROS-fix-it of sorts! Hux is stellar in this, we really get a good look in his head and Coriesocks handles it masterfully! I really liked how their relationship develops gradually in this, it’s Enemies To Lovers at its best! Bloodlines and Brandy

EmperorsVornskr

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22989934/chapters/54963601

Words: 130,785

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Sebastian Hux is a native of the Deep South who loathes his origins, and seeks to pull himself from the stifling quagmire, but his bloodlines call him back to the property that has blessed- and plagued- his family for centuries.Unspoken secrets fill his inheritance, skeletons fill every closet, and a monster lurks in the shadows, tied to two bloodlines joined by fate, greed and hatred that has spanned across generations.As Hux learns about his family’s tainted legacy that has now become his burden, he discovers there is more involved than just having to be the curator of property that the locals shun with hushed whispers, that he has inherited more than an estate- he also has a terrible and loathsome horror tied to his very blood.When curious young locals come calling, and Hux’s past tormentors come out of the woodwork to simper and scrabble for a piece of the newly rich, the body count begins to rise, the smell of blood in the old slaughterhouse is getting harder to hide, and Hux realises that he will need to find a better way to pacify the hulking shadow that perches on his roof every night before his hometown’s tiny population is completely decimated.

My thoughts on the rec: This one is EPIC! Like, in length (which it needs every word of for the story that is going on here) and in the great portrayal of Kylo and Hux and their relationship! It’s super original too-not just the plot but the depiction of Kylo as something ‘other’ and the Southern Gothic vibes, and Hux-this is a wonderful take on Hux! He loses none of his edge, in my opinion and yet the reader is ‘with’ him all the way through, rooting for him! The descriptions are killer too-EmperorsVornskr has a felicity of expression that kept me reading (albeit in more than one sitting). Also worth noting that this is a wonderful and carefully handled depiction of trans!Hux, in my admittedly cis opinion. The theme of finding your tribe/your people/and your special someone in this, albeit in sometimes unexpected places is warming! I enjoyed every moment of this fic! Gravity Well

kyluxtrashcompactor

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13062495/chapters/29879001

Words: 176,421

Rating: Explicit

Summary: Snoke is gone, but his death has solved nothing between Hux and Kylo Ren. The First Order's trust in their leaders wanes as they vie for power over one another, and if they cannot learn to work together, they may both lose everything they've worked for.Forging that alliance after years at each other's throats will not be as easy as letting the past die, however—they will face subterfuge, enemies in the shadows, treachery, and being stranded on a hostile planet with creatures out of nightmare, barely escaping constant danger with their lives while having only one another to rely on.And that is just the beginning.

My thoughts on the rec: I realize this one is very well known by now, but I’ll rec it again for good reason! It’s quality long-fic! I love how competent Hux is in this surival-style fic, even without the Force to save him! And Kylo is a badass! kyluxtrashcompactor is a master of the slow burn here and we’re even lucky enough to be getting a sequel (although Gravity Well will also stand perfectly on its own). The writing in this will draw you in and not let you go!

----

That’s all for now! I hope you enjoy reading these as much as I did!  

[tyb1]

If It’s The Right Thing To Do (4)

Words:2886

Character: Seth Clearwater

Note: let’s imagine your Sam’s little sister 

Dialogue prompt:“So let me get this straight when I need you you’re nowhere to be found but when I do something dumb you magically appear.”

Series List

tag list:  @alecvolturiswifeforever​ @scoverdale1​ @anndaydreamer​ @fae-lore​ @queen-of-embracing-uncertainty @nickangel13​ @bi-bi-spencer​@a-vild-bluemyrtle​ @little-miss-naill @crystalxavlove @ilovesethclearwater

Seth Clearwater Masterlist

A/N: message me or comment if you’d like to be on the tag list. sorry it took so long I love you guys:)

“I’m sorry Seth but you and I both know that what you’re saying is bullshit.” I snatched my hand away from his chest, the feeling of his racing heart was no longer there. I knew he wasn’t lying about what he said but for his and my sanity, we both needed this to end here. This entire relationship was causing too many problems...well before he decided to join the Cullens. 

“What (Y/N)....what are you talking about?.” He stood there with tears in his eyes, I’m surprised he didn’t let them fall like I was letting mine fall. That was one thing I hated about him. He held in all of his emotions and then when it came to the breaking point he would explode. Trust me when I say it’s not a good sight to see.

I had to put off a bold face for him. I couldn’t let him know that I was actually dying inside. I was letting a few tears slide down my face but that didn’t compare to the aching feeling that I was feeling inside of me. It was the same feeling I felt when he first left me.

“Fine since you want me to say it so badly”- I roughly pointed my finger in his face.- “ Leave me alone. We’re breaking up so don’t call me, or text me until you get your priorities straight. I’ll be home when you get your shit together.” 

Seth couldn’t look me in the eyes, he started to kick the dirt with his feet. The sand below him started to change different colors from the tears that were falling upon it. He started to mumble a few words but the only thing I could hear was. “You don’t have your priorities straight either (Y/N).”

“It’s because I’m dealing with your shit! I’m around here following you like a lost puppy when you only play mind games with me! I’m so done with you and your bipolar ass!” I spat bitterly, I turned my back to him then marched towards Sam. I turned around to look at him once more, I instantly regretted it. He stood there with his hands in pockets with his head still hanging low. His head shot up instantly making eye contact with me, I quickly snatched my gaze away from him. This was going to be a new start for both of us so I didn’t need to be drawn back in with his puppy dog eyes.

Seth POV 2 weeks later

 I was too much of a coward to say goodbye. I was truly heartbroken. I wish I could run to her and tell her that I love her and tell her that I cherish everything about her but I know she wouldn’t believe me. I was all out of options. The only thing that felt right to do was to cry and that’s what I did. I cried so hard that day that Jake had to carry me home on his back. It’s been two weeks since I have last spoken to (Y/N), two of the longest fucking weeks of my life. I thought losing my dad was painful but this...this has won the race. I couldn’t bear the heartbreak so I started to stay out longer. I asked to take over Leah and Jake’s patrol hours. I don’t even remember the last time I ate. I can only remember our last encounter, it’s like a nonstop movie in my head it was causing me to go insane.

I hate it here.

I have been spending most of my days down at the border. I was monitoring the days where Colin and Brady patrolled, they were my best option to trick into letting me cross the border. It was my only way to apologize to (Y/N). So here I was trying to wave down Collin and Brady so I could continue with my ridiculous plan.

“Hey! Colin, Brady pshhh, come here!” I yelled out in the distance to the two wolves. I was standing at the border waiting for them to shift as well. I wasn’t in my wolf form. The last thing I wanted to do was be a threat to them. 

Brady was the first to walk from behind the tree while Colin stood behind the tree too nervous to face me. I could read their body language from a mile away, they were very uncomfortable with being around me. 

Brady snarled at me, I observed as all of the muscles in his body grew tense as he spoke. “I heard you got into it with Paul. He should have ripped your fucking head off.”

“Wow I wasn’t expecting that from you Brady, but thanks I guess.” I wasn’t trying to be an ass but it just rolled off my tongue. Straight away I regretted it, it only pissed him off even more. 

Brady pulled Colin by the collar of his shirt pushing him towards me. The kid could barely keep his posture straight or his eyes focused on me. He had no confidence in his steps and started to trip over the branches on the ground.

Brady pointed between the both of us with his thumb. He had an irritated facial expression plastered on his face. “Tell him what you told me when he left.” he spat bitterly, a small smirk was rising on his face but soon faded as Colin spoke.

“Do I have to?” Colin mumbled, he waved shyly at me. I took this opportunity to wave back to him. I gave him a small smile as well. Colin, Brady, and I were always close but Brady was always the fiery type while Colin was timid.

“Yes, you have to say it!” Brady exclaimed.

Colin rolled his eyes, “Fine, I said that you were an ass for leaving us behind. It wouldn’t be the first time that you left us.” Brady glared at him to continue, “I also said that you have a reputation for turning your back on us.”

I noticed Brady smiling at Colin; he must have felt accomplished. I must admit, I did feel bad, I left them behind but it was some things that they have not come to reality with.  “Listen I need a huge favor. I need you to let me cross the border so I can see (Y/N).”

Brady rolled his eyes, “Wow so you just completely ignored what we have to say? Why would we let you cross the border and jeopardize us? Yeah, that was a stupid request.”

“You’ll do it because I am your superior. In Jakes’s pack I’m the beta...but don’t ask Leah or else she’ll lie. She thinks she’s the beta because she’s older but in reality, Jake named me the beta.” 

Colin had a questionably look on his face, by now he has grown more comfortable with me and now is standing face to face just like Brady. “Why would you want to see someone who doesn’t want to see you?” 

I was taken aback, “Why do you mean? She wants to see me, there is no way that she would not want to see me.”

“Umm I highly doubt it, she’s been living well since the accident. We went skating last week with us and the others. Not once has she mentioned your name.” Brady slapped Colin across the back of his head. I watched as the two bickered back and forth. Brady pushed Colin away from him. He snapped his fingers to gain my attention from my feet. I hadn’t realized that I was getting sidetracked but I was trying to figure out why (Y/N)  wasn’t heartbroken.

“She made it clear that she didn’t want to be around you anymore Seth. Dude if I were you I’d really leave her the fuck alone. She really wants nothing to do with you. If you try to see her she’ll probably freak out on you. You’re pretty much dead to her.” Brady then smirked, “There’s also another guy that has been keeping her busy lately.”

Ouch. Well, that hurt...it actually hurt a lot. I cleared my throat so I could stop the tears from arising. We’re not about to cry in front of them!

Colin now slapped Brady beside the head. “You could have said it nicer, idiot.”

“What! Her words, not mine!” 

“Just forget about it.” I spat bitterly, If you wanted to forget about me and everything we had then so be it. I could forget you just as fast as you did me. I could care less about those stupid ass memories we made together. Just like you said I really didn’t love you it was just the stupid feeling of you being my damn imprint. 

I continued to walk and degrade our relationship. Jake tried to stop and talk to me but I just shoved him out of the way. He started to piss me off as well. He had his nose shoved so far up the Cullens ass he couldn’t tell you what roses smell like. Then here comes my second problem, Leah.  I didn’t dare shove her. I didn’t want to pick a fight with her right now. I could explode on her and say some things I didn’t mean. 

“Where the hell have you been!? Were you down at the border again?”

“Does it really matter?” I rolled my eyes at the screaming woman. If she wanted to be my mom then she should have birthed me out. She tugged me backward pulling her face up to hers. I stared into her lonely eyes as she did the same with me.

“You’re my little brother so you are my business. Stop doing dumb shit, Seth.”

 I ripped my face from her hands. “So let me get this straight when I need you you’re nowhere to be found but when I do something dumb you magically appear.” I already knew where the conversation was heading. I was not in the mood to hear her shit right now because I was a walking bomb ready to explode.

“Did you go see (Y/N)?”

“No! I didn’t see her. Why do you make everything about her? I could care less about her.” I couldn’t control myself. I threw my fist into a nearby tree. It cracked and fell to the ground. I didn’t realize I was crying until I felt the tears roll down my cheeks.  As much as I wanted the tears to stop falling I couldn’t. I have never felt so empty in my entire life. That same feeling of heartbreak resurfaced throughout my body. My chest began to tighten, a sharp pain shot throughout my body as I tried to walk forward.

”Make it stop hurting Leah.” I began to sob uncontrollably. “It hurts so bad, why did she have to go? Why is everyone leaving me? What did I do to deserve this….I just try so hard to make everyone happy but when will it be my turn to be happy?  Mom is fucking dating Charlie now. We barely see her anymore only on fucking holidays!  Why did dad have to fucking go!? And you only check on me when it’s convenient for you Leah! Why is everyone leaving me, Leah!?”

“Seth I-”

I cut her off, “Don’t say it.” I knew I was going to apologize about the accident that happened with dad. I never blamed her for the accident. She didn’t mean any harm by it. I could never bring myself to blame her.

 I started to wipe my tears with the sleeves of my flannel shirt. It brought back the memories of the time that (Y/N) would take my flannel and wear it with her converse and shorts. I started to cry all over again at the thought. I started to choke on my words, everything that was coming out of my mouth was undetectable. “(Y/N) was always there for me and now I chose the bloodsuckers over her. She doesn’t understand that it was the right thing to do. They were going to kill a baby. Leah, I don’t have anyone else. I’m so fucking lonely!” 

“I know how it feels Seth. It hurts like hell but you’ll get over it. I’m sorry that you felt like I wasn’t there for you. I must admit that I was being completely selfish. I love you Seth and don’t you forget that.” I started to relax under her embrace. I haven’t seen this side of her since she and Sam were together. It was good to have her back though. “I love you too.”

I followed her gaze, she was staring up at the stars. “I want you to cry it all out, Seth. All of that heartbreak and sadness you have deep within you I want you to let it the fuck out. If you hold it in it’ll turn into anger then that anger will turn into bitterness. I’ll come back and check on you in the morning.”

I don’t want to be alone…

Leah’s footsteps started to become faint, I was left alone in my thoughts once again. I honestly didn’t want her to go. All I wanted for her to do was to hold me and tell me everything was going to be alright. I was stuck on ground zero like I was when my dad died, no one was there for me except (Y/N). She would probably hold me in her hands while whispering the things I wanted to hear. I wish you were here right now, maybe I wouldn’t be so angry at the world. 

“Fuck it!” I started to yell out in the night air. I threw punches in the nearby tree to try and let my anger out. I hit each syllable of the words in the tree. “Fuck you, Sam! And Fuck you too Paul!! I’m not scared of you!” “I don’t care what anyone does and says to me. I’m going to see her and no one is going to stop me.” I didn’t stop until the tree flew back by the force of my hits.

I shifted into my wolf and ran towards her scent. Brady and Colin were still on patrol however they were both on the other side of the forest. It would take them a while to catch up to me at the speed I was running at. A sinister laugh escaped from my lips. This power or maybe it was the adrenaline….no, this was most definitely power. It made me feel invincible, By no means this was me finally sticking up for myself, or how (Y/N) would say, this was me finally growing some balls.

Her scent was in the direction of the beach, oh how could I miss that scent. I followed the dominating scent but there was something a bit off with her scent. It was a mixture of something foreign. I gazed out to the beach scanning every person that was out there. It seemed like there was a party, there were so many teenagers out around the bonfire. I growled out as I watched you sit on a log with another guy’s hoodie on. His cheap polo cologne filled my nostrils. You were sitting there laughing at something that he said which probably wasn’t that funny. 

“Tch, I want to know what’s so funny.” Anger arose in my body causing my teeth and claws to sharpen. My breathing became irregular and there was a tight feeling in my chest. I tried to ignore it but the harder I breathe the more painful it becomes. I took a step forward and instantly collapsed on the ground. My wolf form quickly disappeared and there I was laying on the ground in the fetal position. I tried to crawl but my body felt numb. The only feeling I had was the tears falling from my eyes down my cheeks and onto the ground. I even tried to scream out your name but nothing came out but a gasping sound.

Was I dying?

I started to cry even harder, the thought of dying always freaked me out but the thought of leaving you with guilt made me feel even worse. The sobs were coming out more frequently than I anticipated. I didn’t have time to catch my breath or even think straight. Everything felt like it was closing on me. The air around me started to thin out making me feel dizzy. The pain in my chest starts to become more unbearable. 

“(Y/N) wait...I..I...can’t breathe!” I choked out the words barely having the strength to do it. My head started to pound from the lack of oxygen I was getting. My hearing was becoming undetectable. I felt my body go stiff and my eyes fluttered shut as well, everything became dark and warm. 

It took every bone and ounce of energy to draw a tiny heart near me. If (Y/N) found me like this then she would see the heart. She’ll know that I died loving her...right? Was I even dying or am I just being dramatic? I don’t know, I just want to embrace the warmness that surrounding me right now. 

[kaistarus]

The Only Exception

Pairing: NishinoyaXReader

Words: 2.2K

Summary: Nishinoya was genuinely happy with his life. He’d gotten used to being by himself and had accepted the fact that that was how it was supposed to be. Until you came along and threw everything he thought made sense out the window.

A/N: I really like this fic. It’s one of my favorites Nishinoya ones so far just because it’s his pov and timeskip and the amount of love feels makes me happy. i got a lot of serotonin while writing it :D

Masterlist

Nishinoya had never been someone’s first choice.

He knew that sounded dramatic, but it was just a fact of life. The sky was blue, Tanaka could chug three-fourths gallon of milk before vomiting, and Nishinoya was never anyone’s preferred option--which never bothered him so keep the pity to yourself.

He learned to accept this when he never got scouted for the All-Japan Youth Camp and after the only person Nishinoya ever even kind of loved ended up loving his best friend. It taught him to keep his expectations low and to focus on things he could control, which was what led him to solo-traveling Japan and then the world. He realized things might be better on his own, and with the constant itch that he was missing out on something bigger traveling alone just made sense.

But then you came and ruined everything.

Hold on. That came off way more aggressive than Nishinoya wanted. He meant there was a perfect vision for how his life would go-pyramids in Egypt, Hollywood sign in Los Angeles, deep sea fishing in Italy-until he toppled over you in the streets of Italy. He’d been sprinting toward the docks when you stepped out of a marketplace and he collided into you, knocking you flat on your butt and sending your groceries all over the sidewalk. Nishinoya fumbled through his best apology in broken Italian while shoving produce into your paper bag, but froze in surprise when you snorted rather than began an enraged lecture.

He swore his heart actually stopped when your eyes met. You were clearly amused by his flustered behavior and when his heart started back up it was abnormally fast. Not once had he understood what Tanaka meant when he explained the first time he’d seen Kiyoko, but the first time Nishinoya saw you everything Tanaka said clicked. If Nishinoya had been fifteen he probably would’ve proposed to you on the spot.

But he wasn’t, so instead he shakily handed you your groceries with furiously red cheeks.

“Come ti chiami?” You asked with a raised brow.

Nishinoya blinked several times. He racked his brain for what he’d been taught on his last fishing trip, but it was mostly curses and inappropriate sayings he should probably avoid using. He was pretty sure Duolingo mentioned ‘chiamo’ as name though.

“Nishinoya?” He answered like a question and felt relief wash over him when you nodded.

“What are you doing this weekend, Nishinoya?”

He stared blankly before pointing at you with wide eyes, “I understood that.”

“Well you obviously don’t know Italian,” you rolled your eyes and he pouted at the incredibly accurate jab, “so, are you free?”

He looked around the empty street before pointing to himself. “Are you still talking to me?”

“Is there another Nishinoya around here?”

“I mean, there could be.” He looked up thoughtfully. “The odds would be crazy though.”

You laughed lightly which made a warmth creep up his neck. “I’m talking to you. I’m trying to ask you on a date.”

He looked at you like you’d grown a second head. “Why?”

“You’re attractive and you seem nice,” you cocked your head to the side. “Is that not a good reason?”

He stared at the ground intensely. “I guess… It is?” Then his original reason for being there struck him and his eyes widened. “Oh shit. I have to go,” he started leaving before quickly coming back. “Wait, I, uh, yes. Yes to the date thing.”

You chuckled, pulling a cellphone from your pocket to let him hurriedly create his contact before continuing his sprint to the docks-with a teasing recommendation not to knock anyone else over. That literal run in was the moment his entire world view became out of whack.

It wasn’t that he thought he was immune to liking someone-high school Nishinoya fell for any breathing human that gave him attention-he just lost the ability to imagine someone liking him. Maybe he’d been by himself too long or maybe that was just another fact he’d grown used to. He didn’t know anymore.

He did know that when he showed up at the restaurant thirty minutes early-there’s only so much pacing someone can do before they go insane-he hadn’t expected to see you. Just sitting on a bench beside the main entrance, looking too perfect while bouncing a knee and nibbling on your thumb nail as if you were nervous to be there.

Except it was only him, so that wouldn’t make sense.

“Hey,” you said when you spotted him standing in the middle of the sidewalk like an idiot.

“You’re here,” he raised a brow. You took it as the time, but he meant it in a general sense. He truly hadn’t expected you to show up.

“Oh,” you chuckled awkwardly, twisting the material of your clothes. “Yeah, I was kind of nervous.”

He mulled that over for admittedly too long, but it just seemed like such a stupid thing to say. It wasn’t that you looked stupid, but that’s what made it so confusing.

“You’re also early.” You pointed out when the silence became awkwardly long.

“I was nervous.” He said like it should have been obvious.

“At least we’re starting on equal ground,” you said with a shaky breath.

Equal ground? He wasn’t sure his brain was cut out for this type of critical thinking. He’d even spent the past few days planning for every scenario-even you sneaking out the bathroom like in the movies-but he never pictured you being nervous.

“Uh, yeah,” he tapped against his leg while glancing through the window at the half-filled dining area, “we can probably go inside.”

“That’s probably a good idea,” you gave him a quick finger gun before whipping around with shoulders to your ears.

Nishinoya blinked several times before looking back down the street. A part of him thought about running, saving you both from the shitty date to come filled with awful conversation starters he’d pulled from an online article for high schoolers. However his fate was sealed the moment you sent a gentle smile over your shoulder and his feet began following you through the door without his permission.

Ever since that day he’d been waiting for the other shoe to drop. Ever since you giggled behind your hand instead of wincing at the terrible jokes he regretted the moment they left his mouth; ever since you weren’t burdened by the need to translate for him the whole night; and ever since you were amused rather than annoyed at his nervous rambling and awkward icebreakers.

It was just too good to be true.

Like the first time you came over and teased him for the cheesy dialogue in his favorite action movies. How his chest ached when your head rested in his lap and you gazed at him with overwhelming amounts of affection. He’d never dreamed he’d have this-couldn’t have if he tried. Sharing his favorite things with someone while they traced designs against his palm and occasionally sealing them with featherlight kisses. The fire it sent up his arm was too much and not enough and he hadn’t realized how much he’d wanted this.

It was a little scary how much Nishinoya didn’t want to lose it.

And that thought started keeping him up at night. Nishinoya was never really scared of anything-it was kind of what he was known for everywhere he traveled. If anyone needed something done they asked the foreigner with a death wish. So, the idea that you had that effect on him was, again, terrifying.

But what was Nishinoya supposed to do when you press your forehead against his in the middle of the night? Running your fingers through his hair and paying special attention to the blonde strands he’d always been secretly self-conscious of, whispering low how they were one of your favorite things in the world. How could he regret anything when you rubbed your nose lazily against his and kissed him softer than he ever deserved? He didn’t give a shit how scared he was if it meant he could stay like this, with you, for as long as you’d let him.

Because his heart raced a million miles a second when you mindlessly held his hand under a table or leaned against him just to be close. Because for some reason he was the first person you called when you were excited or when you needed comfort. Because when he rambled too long about spearfishing or an old friend’s volleyball game your eyes lit with genuine interest rather than annoyance. And because he was in love with you.

Which he both wasn’t prepared for and had known was inevitable. Falling for you had been like getting hit by a semi-truck he’d seen coming for miles.

It probably happened sooner than socially acceptable, but that didn’t surprise him given his all or nothing nature. This outcome was decided the moment Nishinoya knew he’d be fine with you breaking his heart a hundred times if it meant he could keep waking up next to you cascaded by the rising sun because he was still too lazy to invest in curtains. Just you cuddling closer to him for warmth in your sleep would make every ounce of pain worth it.

Once Nishinoya’d acknowledged his feelings it was nearly impossible keeping them down. With every breathtaking smile, or brush of your hand against his, or bubble of laughter that rang throughout his apartment it nearly spilled from his lips like a breath. It took all self-restraint he had to hold it back. And it wasn’t that he didn’t want you to know because you deserved this piece of him-every piece of him.

He just wasn’t sure you’d want it.

His resolve lasted nearly a month-a month longer than he thought he was capable-before the feeling was too intense for him to keep down. And it wasn’t anything drastic that made him break. No, it was something so absurdly casual that he was almost pissed at himself when the words flowed from his mouth.

It had been a completely average morning, nothing crazy, the weather was actually gross with rain pounding against the windows and the sky a depressing shade of grey. But then you stepped out of his bathroom while rubbing the sleep from your eyes, giving him a lopsided smile before slurring a soft request for breakfast. It was like time froze and he was in a stupid romcom except you were there so it was actually an oscar nominated masterpiece.

Your head lolled to the side, half-lidded eyes filling with concern at his silence. “We can cook together. I didn’t mean it like-”

“I love you.”

That seemed to wake you up. Your body straightened while your mouth hung open in stunned silence. Nishinoya had expected this kind of reaction, so he clenched his fists tight in preparation for the worst.

“Are you sure?” You asked, barely above a whisper. “That’s a pretty serious word, Noya.”

He knew that. Nishinoya had spent too many nights losing sleep over that.

“You scare me,” he confessed, deciding if he was going to dig his grave he might as well make it deep. “I’ve never really been the one someone chooses. More like deal or settle with.” He grimaced when his heart squeezed painfully in his chest, “but I love you more than I thought I could ever love anyone and that scares me. You make me feel wanted and I don’t know what to do with that.”

“Because I do want you.” You whispered and his stare locked on yours so quickly, meeting your loving gaze while his heart started racing. “And everyone you know must be really stupid because I feel lucky I got to choose you. I get to love you.”

He stared at you wide-eyed while his chest swelled with so much emotion he was surprised he hadn’t passed out.

“Sorry, that sounded really lame.” You placed a hand against your forehead and Nishinoya shook his head vigorously.

“I think that was the greatest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

You stepped closer and cradled his face, gently brushing your thumbs along his cheeks. If he wasn’t so manly and awesome he may have teared up, but he definitely didn’t. Which was why you obviously weren’t wiping any water off his cheeks before pulling his lips against yours.

Nishinoya set a languid pace that turned desperate when you tangled your fingers in his hair. He pulled you as close as he could, which was never enough, snaking an arm around your middle and sliding one to cradle the back of your head. 

When it got heated enough that he decided he’d very much like to move it to his bedroom Nishinoya’s stomach growled and you snorted against his lips. Nishinoya pouted, whining when you pulled away with a playful smirk.

“Later,” you said, pinching his cheeks and waving his head around. “Food first. We’re both hungry.”

He did love food.

He disrespectfully watched you leave him in favor of searching the fridge for food that could be thrown together for breakfast. A dopey smile covered his lips because he loved you. He was lucky enough to get to love you. And for some ridiculous fucking reason you were dumb enough to love him.

He would do whatever he could to keep it this way. For now, that was helping you cook breakfast. Tomorrow, who knows? But whatever it was you would be there, so it would be pretty god damn amazing.

[tsumucore]

Playing ACNH hcs ♡‧₊˚

here’s some hcs of Atsumu, Kuroo, Suna, and Akaashi playing animal crossing bc it’s been on my mind :3

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ

Atsumu

Gave into the hype just so he could say yeah I game 🙄😴 (he only has a switch bc the rest of inarizaki play smash)

Named his island “island”

He literally chose the most inconvenient layout when he started. His resident services is right smack in front of his airport so there’s like barely a sliver of walking space AND it’s slightly to the left so it ain’t even centered 💔

When the rest of inarizaki comes over to visit, he ends up getting slaughtered for his lack of “appealing scenery” and influx of weeds 😭 Osamu, Suna, and Aran are leading the revolution

Do NOT invite this mf over to your island he will trample all over your flowers, INCLUDING the hybrids. Isn’t even aware of the damage he’s caused until you’re chasing him with an axe and gifting him trash every day for the next two weeks

Gets on his knees and begs you for spare 30 iron nuggets 🤲🏼🥺

Listen he knows all villagers are created equal✨ and whatnot but he still screams every time he sees an ugly villager arrive at his campsite. He saw Limberg once, said No ❤️ and immediately closed out of the game

Whenever a villager he hates moves in, he spends a half hour straight hitting them with his net bc he thinks thats gonna get them to move out lmfao

Tries out all the tricks for getting a good island when he’s going villager hunting like clapping for Orville, showing up in dodo merch, etc

“Uhhh, you know it’s completely randomized right..? None of them actually work.” “Shut yer trap 🥰″

Man... he really sets his villagers’ nicknames for him as “daddy”

“What if you let me clap your cheeks in front of tom nook” “Upgrade your resident services first then we’ll talk, musty ❤️″

Kuroo

Denies, denies, denies that he plays the game he’s always like “nah, that’s for kids”

But literally everyone gets the notification that he’s playing all the time bc he doesn’t realize his online status is visible to everyone LMFAO

When you expose him, he just claims that Kenma forced him to try it out like ok Mr. 220+ hours 🙄

Horror themed island!!! He gets real creative with it - everything’s strategically placed and he’s got all sorts of rare and hacked items to work with, courtesy of Kenma’s activities on the black market. He has a lot of references to Japanese folklore sprinkled throughout his island

Naturally, Lucky’s his favorite villager; also has a soft spot for Kiki

NAH DON’T INVITE HIM TO YOUR ISLAND .. its so sad he’ll be looking around like “aww, it’s cute” JDSKHKDSHJ the humiliation

But he actually loves spending time on yours bc its such a change from his usual Eeerie one

Loves doing tarantula/scorpion islands - he’s got the patience n willpower to travel to a random island and turn it into a goldmine for scorpions

U guys will help each other out by tag teaming a gigas giant clam together and it turns into one big screaming match lmao

“It’s right by you!” “Ok, on the count of 3, I’ll lead it that way to corner it and you swoop in for the catch”

Yaku once commented on how his museum’s kinda empty and he let it get to him. He’s obsessed with digging up every fossil and catching every minuscule bug to make sure his collection’s complete like bro!!! It’s fine!!! Your island’s still better than mine!!!

Suna

Mf was able to snag the animal crossing edition of the switch before they all sold out

I feel like his island would be one of those cyberpunk tokyoesque ones. You: yeah my boyfriend’s a professional landscaper 🥰

The secret: he gets zooted when he’s terraforming at 3am

Really comes over to collect his diy from Celeste, laughs at your island, and dips

ALWAYS dripped out. U will NOT catch him slipping

Never has his net in his hand when he shakes trees bc he wants to be Daring

Blocked Atsumu for stealing his flowers when he wasn’t looking

The type to mass buy nook mile tickets on ebay and go on villager hunting sprees for his dreamies. You’ve often witnessed him on the brink of madness at 4am as he comes across Hippeux for the 11th time

Joins discord servers and participates in cataloging parties. He’s got the best items and color combos for everything. Also an avid user of nookazon

You: just a smidget of bells plth 🥺🥺🤲🏼🤲🏼

He pays off your debts for you 💅🏼

Makes you continuously press A to collect shooting stars for him when he goes to the bathroom. 

You: I’m tired I don’t wanna do this anymore

Him: That’s nice ❤️

He lets you take some star fragments in the morning tho for compensation

Hates talking to his villagers tbh bc its the same dialogue over and over again so he only interacts with them when he wants to give them fits

Gifts raymond the maid dress

He likes to lay on you and nuzzle into you as best he can when you’re both playing. You’ll both just lay there in a comfortable silence, doing your own thing n it’s honestly so therapeutic

Akaashi

He’s got a european town inspired theme going on - the color palette throughout his island is immaculate

It’s infuriating how perfect his island is when he isn’t even a time traveler. It took you months WITH time traveling to achieve an island that you’re somewhat satisfied with and he’s sitting there like yeah I hit 5 stars after three weeks❤️

You: ok jobless❤️

His museum’s fire; every time he collects a species for the first time, he immediately takes it to blathers. His fossil collection is also like 99% complete. The only thing that bothers him is how dry his art gallery is, so you always have to text him when redd’s on your island

Really vibes with Wolfgang

Managed to actually get all his rocks in a circle to make a rock garden??

You: HOW

Him: I don’t kiss and tell

Stargazing dates!!!! He always lets you know when there’s a meteor shower on his island and has the cutest lil stargazing area just for you two to hang out at

Usually plays the game muted so when he’s fishing he actually watches for the bob??? instead of turning that shit up on full blast and listening for the blubblub???

He’s shameless abt how much he wants Raymond and has spent a ridiculous amount of tickets looking for him. “He’s a cat with glasses and different colored eyes!!!!!”

When you got Raymond to move in to your island, he kept trying to convince you to gift him to him. This sweet talking mf kept trying to shower you with kisses and cuddles to get you to say yes.

“I’m not putting him in boxes.” “Go off 🧚‍♂️😍🤩 that cliff over there 🧚‍♂️🧚‍♂️💕”

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ

masterlist ｡･:*:･ﾟrules

[electricsockhead]

💓 jenelope headcanons 💓

side notes:

1 -> it’s established relationship cuz idk how to write f-t-l with them 😖😖😖

2 -> this is set in like seasons 1 & 2, so there’s no kids and jj is still media liaison

3 -> please come talk to me about them!! idc if you’re seeing this posts 6 months after I posted it or 12 years (if I’m still active) PLEASE COME TALK TO ME ABOUT THEM 🥺🥺🥺

4 -> Trigger Warnings:

brief mentions of SA! (talking about their job)

possible displays neurodivergent traits! (if you’re neurotypical, this trigger is not for you, it’s for those in ND community who get triggered by stimming and mentions of breakdowns. also, the only reason “possible” is added is because I’m not neurodivergent (nor a doctor) so I have no personal experience with with these, and I don’t know if they’re considered neurodivergent traits. if you’re neurodivergent im 100% willing to listen to your opinions and thoughts on this!!!)

jj loves falling asleep over penelope, and loves holding one of her hands and just fiddling with her fingers (interlacing them, kissing her knuckles, etc)

Penelope always played with jjs hair when they do that, and she loves trying to make a braid with just one hand. sometimes she tangles jjs hair a little and they laugh 🥰🥰

when JJ is having a bad day she sits cross-legged on one of Penelope’s desks and just fiddles with Penelope’s toys

occasionally throughout the day penelope will go over and just hold her waist and rest her head on one of JJ’s thighs and JJs hand automatically goes to her head and starts fiddling with her hair

On days where she can’t stay in Penelope’s office she takes one of the toys with her and is fiddling with it all days and doesn’t let go for too long

On those days when they get home they cuddle and sometimes if it was really bad jj will break down and cry into Penelope’s shoulder and Penelope just comforts her through it 🥺🥺🥺

sometimes she also gets really touch averted so they’ll just sit next to each other while jj sobs into her hands, and Penelope just sits with her so she doesn’t feel alone 🥺🥺

On game nights they always have so much fun and they rarely bicker over the color/object of the players because penny will always go for the smallest or pink one and jj will always go for the one with more texture or blue one (ex. on the life game, penny gets the pink car and jj gets the blue one, or monopoly, jj gets the Statue of Liberty because it has a lot of bumps and she runs her fingers through them all the time because it calms her down and helps her feel grounded, and penny gets the hat because it’s small and sometimes she likes to just run her fingers through the “hem” — they rarely ever leave their pieces on the board which causes them to forget where they were but it’s ok cuz they always have fun 🥰🥰)

On their days off, they like to go on picnics and jj takes care of the setting while Penelope takes care of the snacks

jj always picks somewhere with a body of water, usually a river but they live nearby a lake and sometimes they go there as well

she absolutely loves seeing the water just move on the river or just stare at the cute ducks on the lake

Penny always has cookies and extra money in her bag cuz she knows jjs gonna want to get ice cream

at dinner time, usually penny cooks, but jjs always with her, sitting on the counter and trying to help out (even tho penny said not to worry, and that she likes to do it by herself, and also to give jj a break from always working), and when she has nothing to do (or nothing in her hands to fiddle with) she’ll set the table extra nice with candles and wine

jj loves when they’re too lazy or too tired to cook anything so she just makes ham and cheese sandwiches for them and they sit on the couch and watch TV.

Penny loves putting on romantic dramas or romantic comedies while jj likes putting on western/action movies (it gives closure she never got as a kid 🥺💔)

One thing they can’t watch is horror because then the next day they can’t really do their job right because they just keep going back to the movie that depicts what they only see the aftermath of (like yeah they see the dead body and they’re informed of sa, but if a movie is graphic enough that it’ll depict it, then the next time they hear a victim was SAed they’ll be able to picture it and it just makes the job a lot harder to do 🥺💔)

On a lighter note, they have movie nights every Saturday and a lot of times they settle for Disney movies, and they’ve watched lady and the tramp so much that they know a lot of the dialogue

They also sometimes like to put it on mute and make up their own dialogue, and they always have so much fun with it

They have this little plush toy they keep in between them, so when one has a nightmare they can cuddle it while also cuddling each other (like if jj has a nightmare, she’ll get cuddles from penny, with the plushy in her own arms)

every morning they wake up half an hour earlier then they’re supposed to so that they can be lazy in bed and steal sleepy kisses and still get up in time and not be late for work

they never tried to hide their relationship from the team, but they weren’t necessarily public about it.

Hotch was the first to know, and he’s like “there’s fraternization rules against it, so no one on this team should be in a relationship” but then pulls them aside and he’s like, I don’t know nothing, I ain’t see nothing, but if hypocritically there was something, I’d be happy with it, BUT I DONT KNOW NOTHING (aka, he supports their relationship, but doesn’t want them to get in trouble 🥺🥰)

the next to find out is Morgan and he’s * o f f e n d e d * that his bbg never told him and she was like “you never asked 🤷” and he’s like “yeah, fair point” (obv. he also supports it)

When Elle finds out she’s like “hot.” And they both blush, but she’s supportive and it hurts them more then anyone else when she leaves because she’s the only other queer woman they’re close with, but then when Emily joins, she can smell the gays a mile away and it brings them a bit of comfort

When Spencer find out he’s also * o f f e n d e d * they didn’t tell him, but he gets super excited and buys them a bunch a Pride stuff for them because he knows they might not use it so he gets an excuse to have gay shit lying around his house (🚪🚪🚪)

Gideon never really payed attention to their “friendship” but when hotch offhandedly mentions it he acts like he already knew, and doesn’t make a big deal out of it (let’s be honest this man is an ally ☺️☺️)

as time progresses, they become more and more open about it, and occasionally will display copious amounts of PDA, and the team finds it absolutely adorable because they’re so happy for them 🥰🥰

the end ☺️✨

if y’all don’t mind, I’m tagging @geeky-son-dr-reid and @gleaminginthespotlight 🥺 ilysm

[authenticdesperation]

A Review of Every Single Episode of Inside No. 9 [1/2]

Disclaimer: my opinions are not definitive but they are bloody good. There may be spoilers so read at your own risk. This will probably have to be a two-parter for the sake of my sanity and your scrolling.  

Series 1

1. Sardines 

A killer way to kick off a series with an absolutely top notch cast. This episode probably wins the award for the episode I’ve spent the most time thinking about after watching, putting all the little things that went over my head at first into place. I love the set design in this episode as well with everything seeming delightfully old fashioned. 

2. A Quiet Night In

This episode is something of a masterclass in farce and it is a Bold Move to have the second episode of a new series almost completely free of dialogue. It’s dirty, it’s fully of silly slapstick and it’s a nice change of pace after the rather harrowing ending to the first episode. 

3. Tom and Gerri 

This is an episode I enjoyed more when I thought about it more. It beautifully shows the decline of Tom’s mental health (acted impeccably, lovely work from Reece) due to grief. Also it was quite nice to see Reece and Steve acting opposite each other more, they have great chemistry together and Steve as Migg is perfectly unsettling. 

4. Last Gasp

Now, I have to be honest with you: I do not exclusively have glowing praise for this episode. I enjoyed it far more after watching it more than once as I liked the humour of it. One of my favourite things was the video camera perspective at the start, as well as some lovely moments with the music. However, I’m not overly keen on the ending, I just found it slightly underwhelming. 

5. The Understudy

Back on the praise train kids! I am a big old Shakespeare nerd (as are Reece and Steve, apparently) and I studied Macbeth for my GCSEs so I was particularly excited when I watched it. I will also have to give a little nod to the directing of this episode, it was an absolute feast for the eyes. 

6. The Harrowing

Oh hell yes (no pun intended). I think this episode is a great one to cap off the first series, really demonstrating the versatility of Steve and Reece. Also, I’m a big horror fan and the entire atmosphere of it really appealed to me. Though I would say that the second I saw that house I would have run about fifteen miles in the opposite direction.

Series 2

1. La Couchette

This episode is very similar to Sardines in the sense that it feels rather claustrophobic, but this time it leans far more towards the comedy side of things rather than drama. Bonus points for Steve demonstrating his German skills. 

2. The 12 Days of Christine

Ah yes, the episode I’ve cried at every time I’ve watched it. This one is a strong demonstration of how to wrong foot an audience: you never quite know what’s going on until towards the end and all of the horror-esque moments just add to the confusion making the ending one hell of an emotional gut-punch. I wouldn’t watch it if you need something to cheer you up, though.

3. The Trial of Elizabeth Gadge

My second favourite episode of series two, The Trial of Elizabeth Gadge is packed to the brim with silly puns and smutty jokes. I personally predicted the twist but in this case I don’t think it really mattered as I was too busy enjoying the Horrible Histories for adults thing that was going on. Bonus points for another killer cast.

4. Cold Comfort

The first of two episodes directed by Steve and Reece and really quite a bold one at that. The whole thing is filmed in the style of a CCTV feed, which I’m pretty sure an experienced director would warn you off trying, but it really pays off in the narrative. Since the camera doesn’t switch focus at any point, it really relies on the acting performances to keep your focus which, in my opinion, the cast fucking nailed.

5. Nana’s Party

If I had to describe the episode in two words they would be ‘domestic drama’. It’s a fairly classic setup of a family with their fair share of secrets, namely adultery and alcoholism, but happily doesn’t give the game away too early and a layer of humour is added by the slightly irritating prankster character of Pat. It’s the second episode of the series directed by Steve and Reece and has a sort of understated quality to it, showing Claire Skinner’s character’s exacting nature above a layer of familial drama. 

6. Séance Time

My favourite episode of series two, at first you think you’re walking into another haunted house scenario until you find out it’s a prank show that went off the air due to a scandal. There’s a great sense of humour throughout, and I don’t know whether I’m easily freaked out or the final jumpscare was genuinely terrifying but I flew about fifteen feet into the air when I saw it. Once I’d peeled myself off the ceiling, I really appreciated that it felt like a slow burn horror despite still only being half an hour. 

Series 3

1. The Devil of Christmas

I live for schlocky horror films that are so cheesy they give you nightmares if you watch them before bed. So the 1970s film within the episode, accompanied by a director’s commentary-cum-police interview performed by Derek Jacobi, was an absolute treat. The story of Krampus is one that has been done a lot, but never as a snuff film (as far as I know) so it was a nice little twist.

2. The Bill

Every time I rewatch Inside No. 9 this is the episode I always have to watch no matter what. It is such a simple premise and it feels slightly reminiscent of the Geoff, Mike and Brian sketches from The League of Gentlemen. Now is probably the moment where I should sing the praises of director Guillem Morales who has, quite frankly, become my personal hero having seen the many, many episodes of this series he’s directed. The framing in this episode is absolutely genius, but it’s only really obvious after you’ve watched it a few times and I have to give kudos for making a dialogue-heavy episode visually interesting. There are jokes that I think about at least twice a week and I am obsessed with Jason Watkins’ acting...I think this will be my longest review of this whole post. 

3. The Riddle of the Sphinx

This is the best episode I will never watch again. I love horror, and I’ve watched some bone-chilling films but something about this episode made me feel so uncomfortable. It is also a real testament to Steve Pemberton, who I’m led to believe is the cryptic crossword fan who took the lead writing this episode, that he wrote something involving cryptic crosswords that didn’t give me a migraine. 

4. Empty Orchestra

Ah, what a nice change of pace after the last episode with something far lighter. The karaoke booth concept is so fun and I’ve never understood the criticism of the episode. That being said, of every single antagonist in every single episode of Inside No. 9, Connie is the character I love to hate the most. All of the characters feel more like people you’ve met before and the vibe of a group of work colleagues in a karaoke booth going through the usual petty drama feels familiar. I think series three is one that has some of the darkest concepts and this is a great exception to that. 

5. Diddle Diddle Dumpling

When I looked in the background more while rewatching this episode, I noticed a lot of things were in twos. I can only assume that was a deliberate choice made somewhere along the line, and one that pays off when you notice it. Both Mat Baynton and Keeley Hawes played their parts to perfection, with Mat really doing quite a lot with a fairly small part. The whole episode reads as an interesting analysis of grief, in a similar sense to Tom and Gerri. Also, Reece’s character did not murder the remaining twin and apparently I’m the weirdo for thinking that was what was being implied. In my defence, there was cannibalism earlier in the series; filicide did not seem like that big of a leap.

6. Private View 

Agatha Christie eat your heart out (that wasn’t meant to be a reference to the ending, it’s just a happy accident). Murder mysteries are my absolute jam so I am obsessed with this episode. The modern art show is such a great setting for a whodunnit as demonstrated by the reaction to the discovery of Peter Kay’s character’s body. All the characters have their brilliant little quirks, and the killer is revealed at the perfect time and it was a good idea to not make that reveal the twist. 

[marginalgloss]

I turn 35 tomorrow. How better to celebrate that than with some notes on the handful of video games I have managed to finish over the last ten months. In no particular order:

Judgment (PS4)

Something I think about often is that there aren’t many games which are set in the real world. By this I man the world in which we live today. You can travel through ancient Egypt or take a trip through the stars in the far future, but it’s relatively rare to be shown a glimpse of something familiar. Hence the unexpected popularity of the new release of Microsoft Flight Simulator, which lets you fly over a virtual representation of your front porch, as well as the Grand Canyon, and so on.

I found something like the same appeal in Judgment, a game which took me longer than anything else listed here to finish — seven or eight months, on and off. Like the Yakuza games to which it is a cousin, it’s set in Kamurocho, a fictional district of a real-world Tokyo; unlike other open-world games, it renders a space of perhaps half a square mile in intense detail. I spent a long time in this game wandering around slowly in first-person view, looking at menus and in the windows of shops and restaurants. The attention to detail is unlike everything I have ever seen, from the style of an air conditioning unit to the range of Japanese whiskies on sale in a cosy backstreet bar. And this was a thing of value at a time when the thought of going anywhere else at all, let alone abroad, seemed like it was going to be very difficult for a very long time.

It’s a game of at least three discrete parts. One of them is a fairly cold-blooded police procedural/buddy cop story: you play an ex-lawyer turned private eye investigating a series of grisly murders that, inevitably, link back to your own murky past. In another part you run around the town getting into hilarious martial arts escapades, battering lowlifes with bicycles and street furniture. In another, you can while away your hours playing meticulous mini-games that include darts, baseball, poker, Mahjong and Shogi — and that’s before we even get to the video game arcades.

All these parts are really quite fun, and if you want to focus on one to the exclusion of the others, the game is totally fine with that. The sudden tonal shifts brought about by these crazy and abrupt shifts in format are, I think, essentially unique to video games. But the scope of Judgment is a thing all its own. As a crafted spectacle of escapist fiction it’s comprehensive, and in its own way utterly definitive.  

Mafia: Definitive Edition (PS4)

I was amazed when I found out they were doing a complete remake of Mafia, a game I must have finished at least three or four times in the years after its release back in 2002. Games from this era don’t often receive the same treatment as something like Resident Evil, where players might be distracted by the controls and low-poly graphics of the original. 

A quality remake makes it easier for all kinds of reasons to appreciate what was going on there. (Not least because they have a lot of new games in the same series to sell.) But in the early 00s PC games like this one had started to get really big and ambitious, and had (mostly) fixed issues with controls; so there’s a hell of a lot more stuff going on in Mafia than in most games of that era. It was also a very hard game, with all kinds of eccentricities that most big titles don’t attempt today. Really I have no idea how this remake got made at all. 

But I was so fond of the original I had to play it. The obvious: it looks fantastic, and the orchestral soundtrack is warm and evocative. The story is basic, but for the era it seemed epic, and it’s still an entertaining spectacle. The original game got the balance of cinematic cutscenes, driving and action right the first time, even while Rockstar were still struggling to break out of the pastiche-led GTA III and Vice City. 

They have made it easier. You’re still reliant on a handful of medical boxes in each level for healing, but you get a small amount of regenerating health as well. You no longer have to struggle to keep your AI companions alive. Most of the cars are still heavy and sluggish, but I feel like they’re not quite as slow as they once were. They’ve changed some missions, and made some systems a little more comfortable — with sneaking and combat indicators and so on — but there aren’t any really significant additions.

The end result of all this is that it plays less like an awkward 3D game from 2002, and more like a standard third-person shooter from the PS3/360 era. Next to virtually any other game in a similar genre from today, it feels a bit lacking. There’s no skill tree, no XP, no levelling-up, no crafting, no side-missions, no unusual weapons or equipment, no alternative routes through the game. And often all of that stuff is tedious to the extreme in new titles, but here, you really feel the absence of anything noteworthy in the way of systems. 

My options might have been more limited in 2002 but back then the shooting and driving felt unique and fun enough that I could spend endless hours just romping around in Free Ride mode. Here, it felt flat by comparison; it felt not much different to Mafia III, which I couldn’t finish because of how baggy it felt and how poorly it played, in spite of it having one of the most interesting settings of any game in recent years. But games have come a long way in twenty years.    

Hypnospace Outlaw (Nintendo Switch)

If this game is basically a single joke worked until it almost snaps then it is worked extremely well. 

It seems to set itself up for an obvious riff on the way in which elements of the web which used to be considered obnoxious malware (intrusive popups and so on) have since become commonplace, and sometimes indispensable, parts of the online browsing experience. But it doesn’t really do that, and I think that’s because it’s a game which ends up becoming a little too fascinated by its own lore. 

The extra science fiction patina over everything is that technically this isn’t the internet but a sort of psychic metaverse delivered over via a mid-90s technology involving a direct-to-brain headset link. I don’t know that this adds very much to the game, since the early days of the internet were strange enough without actually threatening to melt the brains of its users. 

(This goes back to what I said about Judgment - I sometimes wonder if it feels easier to make a game within a complete fiction like this, rather than simply placing it in the context of the nascent internet as it really was. Because this way you don’t have to worry too much about authenticity or realism; this way the game can be as outlandish as it needs to be.) 

But, you know. It’s a fun conceit. A clever little world to romp around in for a while. 

Horace (Nintendo Switch)

I don’t know quite where to begin with describing this. One of the oddest, most idiosyncratic games I’ve played in recent years. 

As I understand it this platformer is basically the creation of two people, and took about six years to make. You start out thinking this is going to be a relatively straightforward retro run-and-jump game — and for a while, it is — but then the cutscenes start coming. And they keep coming. You do a lot of watching relative to playing in this game, but it’s forgivable because they are deeply, endearingly odd. 

It’s probably one of the most British games I’ve ever played in terms of the density and quality of its cultural references. And that goes for playing as well as watching; there’s a dream sequence which plays out like Space Harrier and driving sequences that play out like Outrun. There are references to everything from 2001 to the My Dinner with Abed episode of Community. And it never leans into any of it with a ‘remember that?’ knowing nod — it’s all just happening in the background, littered like so much cultural detritus. 

A lot of it feels like something that’s laser-targeted to appeal to a certain kind of gamer in their mid-40s. And, not being quite there myself, a lot of it passed me by. Horace is not especially interested in a mass appeal — it’s not interested in explaining itself, and it doesn’t care if you don’t like the sudden shifts in tone between heartfelt sincerity and straight-faced silliness. But as a work of singular creativity and ambition it’s simply a joyous riot. 

Horizon: Zero Dawn (PS4)

I stopped playing this after perhaps twelve or fifteen hours. There is a lot to like about it; it still looks stunning on the PS4 Pro; Aloy is endearing; the world is beautiful to plod around. But other parts of it seem downright quaint. It isn’t really sure whether it should be a RPG or an action game. And I’m surprised I’ve never heard anyone else mention the game’s peculiar dedication to maintaining a shot/reverse shot style throughout dialogue sequences, which is never more than tedious and stagey.

The combat isn’t particularly fun. Once discovered most enemies simply become enraged and blunder towards you, in some way or another; your job is to evade them, ensnare them or otherwise trip them up, then either pummel them into submission or chip away at their armour till they become weak enough to fall. I know enemy AI hasn’t come on in leaps and bounds in recent years but it’s not enough to dress up your enemies as robot dinosaurs and then expect a player to feel impressed when they feel like the simplest kind of enrageable automata. Oh, and then you have to fight human enemies too, which feels like either an admission of failure or an insistence that a game of this scale couldn’t happen without including some level of human murder. 

I don’t have a great deal more to say about it. It’s interesting to me that Death Stranding, which was built on the same Decima engine, kept the frantic and haphazard combat style from Horizon, but went to great lengths to actively discourage players from getting into fights at all. (It also fixed the other big flaw in Horizon — the flat, inflexible traversal system — and turned that into the centrepiece of the game.) 

Disco Elysium (PS4)

In 2019 I played a lot of Dungeons and Dragons. I’m talking about the actual tabletop roleplaying game, not any kind of video game equivalent. For week after week a group of us from work got together and sort of figured it out, and eventually developed not one but two sprawling campaigns of the never-ending sort. We continued for a while throughout the 2020 lockdown, holding our sessions online via Roll20, but it was never quite the same. After a while, as our life circumstances changed further, it sort of just petered out.

I mention all this because Disco Elysium is quite clearly based around the concept of a computerised tabletop roleplaying game (aka CRPG). My experience of that genre is limited to the likes of Baldurs Gate, the first Pillars of Eternity and the old Fallout games, so I was expecting to have to contend with combat and inventory management. What I wasn’t expecting was to be confronted with the best novel I’ve read this year.

To clarify: I have not read many other novels this year, by my standards. But, declarations of relative quality aside, what I really mean is that this game is, clearly and self-consciously, a literary artefact above all. It is written in the style of one of those monolithic nineteenth century novels that cuts a tranche through a society, a whole world — you could show it to any novelist from at least the past hundred years and they would understand pretty well what is going on. It is also wordy in every sense of that term: there’s a lot of reading to do, and the text is prolix in the extreme. 

You could argue it’s less a game than a very large and fairly sophisticated piece of interactive fiction. The most game-like aspects of it are not especially interesting. It has some of the stats and the dice-rolling from table-top roleplaying games, but this doesn’t sit comfortably with the overtly literary style elsewhere. Health and morale points mostly become meaningless when you can instantly heal at any time and easily stockpile the equivalent of health potions. And late on in the game, when you find yourself frantically changing clothes in order to increase your chances of passing some tricky dice roll, the systems behind the game start to feel somewhat disposable. 

Disco Elysium is, I think, a game that is basically indifferent to its own status as a game. Nothing about it exists to complement its technological limitations, and nor is it especially interested in the type of unique possibilities that are only available in games. You couldn’t experience Quake or Civilisation or the latest FIFA in any other format; but a version of Disco Elysium could have existed on more or less any home computer in about the last thirty years. And, if we were to lose the elegant art and beautiful score, and add an incredibly capable human DM, it could certainly be played out as an old-fashioned tabletop game not a million miles from Dungeons and Dragons.

All of the above is one of the overriding thoughts I have about this game. But it doesn’t come close to explaining what it is that makes Disco Elysium great.

[botwstoriesandsuch]

Hi I was hoping to ask for your advice on writing. I’m trying to write from headcanons to little short fics (like one shots) from the readers pov but I’m finding it difficult to do so smoothly. Any idea how to do the transition without it coming out as a fanfic readers worst nightmare?

Well, I cannot guarantee the quality of my “advice” but I will give it a shot! 

Apologies for you folks that hate my big essay length posts, but I do love infodumping about the writing process :P 

So just click “J” to skip the post (if you’re on mobile...sorry just exercise your scrolling finger a bit more)

- - - - - - - - - - 

So I’ll start with the distinctions between a headcanon and a fic. On one hand, you got simpler sentences, that summarize a broader idea or scene. You might have visualized the entire thing in your head, but at the end of the day all you do is write down a few sentences or pieces of dialogue that give the broader basis of an idea and/or scene. That’s not to say writing headcanons is easy, but it is, bluntly, the simpler method.  

Writing, obviously, is more complicated. Not only are you trying to convey a more abstract idea to your reader, but you’re doing so with more layers and complexities, given that what you are trying to write is generally more detailed. You have to not only account for what your basic premise is, but the method in which you convey it. So, in a “good” fic, it typically doesn’t just focus on the basic “what is happening right now” in a scene, but can give subtleties and intricacies with its tone, themes, point of view, connotation, foils, imagery, symbolism, sentence structure, diction, context, figurative language, narrative, foreshadowing, setting, irony, character arcs, and the thousands and thousands of other layers that go into constructing story. 

And I say “story” there deliberately, as I think the best way to summarize the differences is that a headcanon is a plot, while a one-shot is a story. Your one-shot has the ability to tell different messages, details, and themes, and give several points of interest to your reader, while your headcanon is limited to the structure of its initial premise.

[And before you English nerds bash me for my definition of story and plot, please know that I am using my film teacher’s old definition, which (to quote this quizlet I found) is “Story is all of the elements of a narrative that are involved, both shown and un-shown on screen. Plot is only all of the elements of a narrative that are shown on screen.” So yeah, it theoretically could be rewritten as a headcanon is a scene, and a one-shot is a story, but I’m just nitpicking at this point half of you don’t care and want me to move on anyway, apologies!]

So how do you transition between them? Well, in honesty I don’t exactly have a sure fire way for you, saying I do would be very hypocritical. However, what I can do is point out the “gap” between headcanons and fics, and perhaps from there you might be able to forge your own path..? 

Chances are, if you’re already familiar with writing headcanons, you’ve already knocked out half of the work. See in a story, specifically in our case, fic, you have eight elements that construct it. You’ve got

Plot

Setting

Conflict

Character

Point of View

Tone

Style

and Theme

With a headcanon, (assuming it’s slightly more specific than “Headcanon that this character likes peaches!”) you’ve already got plot, setting, conflict, and character down. 

Plot: being the actual premise of your story. What happens, why things happen, how other characters react, the beginning and ending, etc.

Setting: Being the location and time of your scene/plot. The setting might be a contingency to your story, such as a prison break that takes place in prison, or maybe it is the time that is essential for your High School AU fic

Conflict: Typically goes hand and hand with your plot, although not always (obviously, plot and conflict aren’t essential when talking about fics, *winks at the nsfw side of tumblr*) But if your headcanon does have a basic plot, then it probably has some sort of conflict whether external (The Calamity kills everybody) or internal (you’re character is going through grief)

Character: This whole aspect is practically already done for you. Whether by canon from the video game or media you got it from, or perhaps by fanon, with the collective fandom agreeing on certain traits about your character(s) in question. Obviously, if you got an OC, that’s another thing, as you have to create their traits, and construct a believable way that that character reacts and makes choices throughout your plot, depending on how you characterized them

So congrats! In writing up your everyday headcanon, you’re now halfway there to making a full on fic! Obviously, 50% is still a lot, which is probably the reason you were seeking advice in the first place, so now we should move on to the other half, and arguably it is this other half of elements that give the entire distinction between a headcanon and a one-shot. So in theory, if you get these elements down, you’re on your way to writing that much faster!

Quick additional note: Another way to think of your headcanon is as an outline. While not in every case, a good way to jump from your headcanon to a fic is to stick with the major elements of your headcanon, and weaving your writing style in between. Think of the headcanon as your skeleton, and the story being the meat and muscle. Idk if that makes sense, blame my old English teacher for the metaphor

Alrighty, so for demonstration purposes I’m gonna use the very first headcanon I’ve ever written as a basis. Bear with me for a moment:

“Zelink Headcanon: Zelda Just Wants Some Snacks

Everyone always jokes and adores about how Link eats so much and cooks great food in the game (he’s gotta carbo load guys, he walks like 9 miles everyday!)

However I propose, equally hungry and feral Zelda

After Link and Zelda defeat Ganon, one of the first things they do is stop by the nearest cooking pot and eat

She hasn’t eaten for 100 years!! She’s gotta be starving!

Link just cooks up some meat skewers

“…wait I forgot the Goron spice, gimme a sec…”

But Zelda just immediately snatched it off the fire and eats the whole thing in two seconds

Link keeps trying to go out of his way to make really nice food but Zelda is just like “I DON’T CARE RIGHT NOW PLEASE LINK”

So yeah, their first date is basically just Link cooking Zelda a buffet until his inventory empties out”

Again, this headcanon has already given us half of the answers. 

We got our plot: Link, a talented chef, is cooking food which Zelda scarfs down without fear and hesitation

Setting: They are by a cooking pot, perhaps in the wilderness, away from the prying eyes of nosey villagers. This takes place sometime after the initial defeat of Calamity Ganon.

Conflict: Link keeps trying to cook “good” food, but despite the Princess’ royal upbringing, she has no care for the whole “show” of cooking with spices and garnish. She is starving, willing to eat anything

And Characters: Link and Zelda. You know... (Today unfortunately is not the day in which I construct a thorough character analysis of the two...perhaps one day...)

So, now that we have this, we start adding the meat and muscle of our story with point of view, tone, style, and theme. These elements, could be summarized as your writing style. Yes, writing style is more intricate than those four elements alone, but they do fit in with its broad definition. 

So, in essence, a way to transition between headcanon and fic is to find out what kind of writing style you’re comfortable with. 

How do you do that? Well... shocker, I know, you gotta write. 

Write first, plan the elements of your one-shot later!! 

Allow yourself to write complete utter garbage. I know you said that you don’t wanna create a “fanfic reader’s worst nightmare,” but if you become more concerned with the quality of your content before you even start writing, you will never ever ever get anywhere. You’re gonna be stuck in writer’s block for eternity, so just let the garbage and nightmares out and write. You’ll never improve if you don’t have something to improve from, you feel me? 

So, now that your mind is open and ready to write anything, whether garbage or gold, let us dive in to the parts of your writing style. 

Point of view: Do you prefer writing in third person? First? Second? Each have their pros and cons. Second person is good for your “x reader” inserts. First person is good for your narrator’s characterization. Third person is good for describing elements of your surroundings that might not be inherently obvious to your characters or audience. There are hundreds of other pros and cons to the different POVs that you can search up online, but it’ is ultimately up to you to decide which method you like best. 

When you find the method you like best, make sure you use it to it’s full potential! Use foreshadowing with your third person POVs. Use connotation, and diction to further characterize your narrator in first person. Elevate the mood and senses of a scene when in second person.

Tone: Now, this element is often confused with another literary device, mood. The difference being that you as the author have more control over the tone, than the mood. The tone, is the attitude that you as the author (or as a character/narrator, depending on your POV) have towards something. For example, your tone might be suspenseful if you withhold information from your reader, or if you have a certain choice of diction. It is typically better to look to the type of genre you’re writing for to identify what kind of tone you want. 

Mood is the feeling that the reader experiences from your writing. It’s really much more simple, a beloved character dying give a depressed mood. A cute couple hanging out will give the reader a happier mood. This is your angst and fluff feelings, if you will. (Although, please remember than mood and tone are not a binary thing, it is a spectrum, as broad and diverse as the capabilities of human emotion)

Style: Ok yes this is a bit meta, me explaining how to use style to help you construct a writing style. Blame the bendable definitions of the writing world. So just think of this as the face of your writing. The more obvious and apparent part that is unique to you and your personality. 

Think cake. Your story is a delicious cake, it is a chocolate, Zelink cake. Now, your style is the way that you present this cake. Pink frosting? Yellow? A full cake or just a slice? Chocolate ice cream cake? Chocolate lava cake? Five tier cake? Cake pops? These possibilities are the infinite ways your style will present the story.

Style, sometimes called voice, is the combination of your use of tone, mood, POV, syntax, diction, and other literary device that you commonly use in your writing. This isn’t something you learn, it’s just something you do naturally when you write. It’s what readers will like about your fics, because they like the way that you use this or that, or the way you describe this thing or that person. It’s something that can change and improve over time, but in essence, it’s what readers can read and identify as you, without even looking at the username.

Style isn’t something you have to remember, per say, like other literary devices, but it is something to be aware of as you should try to keep it consistent through your whole story. Sometimes have people have different writing styles depending on their own mood, or what they’re writing about. That is fine, so long as you keep it consistent through your whole work. A good trick for this is to listen to music that fits with the style of your writing. Use that one catchy love song whenever you’re writing cute headcanons or fluffy one shots. Use that anime opening theme for your adventurous fics and fight scenes. This way, you are keep in a consist atmosphere and your brain will be in the “Oh! It’s time to write ____ stuff!” mood. 

So just be aware of when you’re in a descriptive style, a narrative style, argumentative, or whatever style you like using. You style might even derived of the way you already create headcanons!

Theme: This is a big one. Have a cohesive theme can easily bring any story from good to great! I like to think of it as you’re story’s destiny, or reason for existence. 

Theme is an outlier for the other elements in that not only is it not necessary for your fic, it is also not necessary for your writing style either. It’s really not necessary... at all. Yet, people always use theme in their writing, even accidentally. 

Theme is your story’s underlying message, or lesson. Yes, yes, if you paid attention in your basic English class you probably already knew that, but this is a big pet peeve of mine. 

The theme of your story isn’t “true love,” the theme isn’t “innocence”, or “failure”, or “trauma”, or whatever. Theme isn’t a broad idea, it’s a specific question and an answer. 

For example: The theme of Breath of the Wild isn’t “exploration” or “time”. The theme is there is always something to seek and find, so long as you have the curiosity and courage to find it. The theme is despite the eternities of time, we still found each other. 

Your theme shouldn’t be a broad, one word answer. What about love are you trying to convey? What specifically about failure are you saying?

Theme is the entire reason why the entertainment medium exists, because artist found a way to create something compelling and interesting while also connecting them to real life things. 

When you give your reader something to really chew on, even days after they finished reading your fic, then you did a brilliant job. Essentially, you want to use theme in your story because it is what will stick with our readers even years after they’ve read your work.

While that’s all sentimental and sappy, that’s still not your biggest problem, is it? You still need to practice, you still need to learn how to use the things you’ve learned to actually write. So, a summary of what I advise you should do.

Look over and improve your old headcanons, and keep making more! Keep making headcanons and litte prompts, and let them grow bigger and bigger, and more desprictive. This could help you ease into actually writing paragraphs a bit more

Find out what you like to write. Yes, you probably already have a fandom in mind, but think back to those first four elements. What types of plots are you comfortable with, what settings, characters? Genius is only the work of enthusiasm, if you don’t like what you’re going to write, you’ve already failed

Write, write, write. Practice, practice practice. Let yourself write complete and utter garbage and nonesense. Then read it over. See what you don’t like about it. Then change it and write again. I MEAN it when I say you should write garbage. Write a completely terrible, nightmarishly cringe scene. See what you don’t like. Then rewrite it again. Repeat, repeat, repeat. In fact, it doesn’t even have to be a scene or something from your fandom. Let it be your description of a shirt, let is be some cringy poem from 7th grade. Just write and learn how you like to write. It will be so much easier in the long run

Read stuff. The stuff you read usually seeps into how you write. When you get used to reading things a certain way, you usually unconciously try to imitate it when you write. So, got a favourite fic writer? Read their stuff over and maybe even analyze the elements you like (again, think back to those eight elements I talked about) and hey, writers like it when you analyze their stuff so maybe even hit them up and talk? We like book reports we swear, most of us don’t bite. 

When you finally think you’re comfortable with your writings, maybe think about what kind of themes you’re into, or what kind of messages you want to say. It doesn’t even need to be that complex. Could be as simple as “I love this ship because it shows that you can still have flaws and be loved” Again, themes are the rEASON for eVERYTHING in the entertainment world

For further demonstration purposes, I’m going to come up with further elements for a hypothetical fic I would write based on that Zelink headcanon. So I’ve got the plot, setting, conflict and theme down. Hmm... I’ll probably use a third person POV as that is what I’m most comfortable with. With third person, I can better highlight the descriptions of Link and Zelda’s surroundings taking in the atmosphere and the aromas and and tastes. The tone will be more happy, focusing on the fun of Zelda and Link’s banter, I’ll try to create a mood in which the reader is laughing along with them, and enjoying the scene. My style will be more descriptive, again with the tastes and smells and other senses of the scene. However, I might go into a more narrative style for Zelda and Link’s banter and dialogue. While typically some people don’t want to use two different styles, I am personally familiar with the styles and know how to write them so as to blend them together more seamlessly. I might have a hint of angst at the end of the fic, as a little climax, given that the setting of the fic is after the defeat of the Calamity. I might through in some themes about how it wasn’t the material power of Hylia or the Master Sword that saved Hyrule, but the courageous and wise bond between Link and Zelda. Then...idk, a little romatic kiss for resolution because this is a fic and I can throw in some fanservice because my writing my rules. 

Babam! I just converted a headcanon to a fic.

So yeah, go write your headcanons. Then maybe next a paragraph. Then next a scene, and then you’re well on your way to one-shots and chapter fics. Happy writing and good luck!

[okay-j-hannah]

The Adrenaline of Panic

Criminal Minds : Fic

Spencer x Reader

Word Count: 2220

Warnings: I used the plot line from season 6 episode 10 - reader has a similar situation to Ashley Seaver... being new and all 😁 {mild struggle, shots fired, unsub down, agent choked... the whole nine yards} 

Inspiration and dialogue came from this episode: 6x10 What Happens At Home

Request: This is just from my own head 😊

A/N: In a moment of pure terror, the team realizes that you’re visiting the killer in his home - Reid, unable to contain the panic, races against the clock to save you from a gruesome end

“Okay, let’s hope the occupancy listings show pets.” Emily led the way into the back room, carrying a stack of files, “This is the pile of suspects we need to weed the 18 from.”

(Y/N) followed closely behind, meeting at the table, “What are these?” She gestured to the smaller stack that Spencer was carrying in.

“Victim information, the families of the 3 women who were killed,” he responded, moving to stand beside her, his eyes trained on her face.

“Families,” (Y/N) muttered.

Emily sighed, opening a case file, “Yeah, families are the hardest part about this job.”

Though it had only been a few weeks since her initial field training, (Y/N) was finding it hard not to feel attached to the victims. She was involuntarily connecting herself to them on an empathetic and personal level. That could be dangerous for someone on a case, she knew.

Spencer knew it too, watching her movements closely as she gazed at the victim boards behind them. He had known (Y/N) for a few years, running into her at a lecture they were commonly interested in. He was one of the first people to recommend her for the BAU trainings – obviously secretly wishing he could work alongside her and get to know her more.

Throughout her training process, Reid became accustomed to her kind nature and positive thinking. He had made a mental note then to introduce her to Garcia.

But he had also decided then that he was going to have to look out for her when it came to being too involved in cases. It can damage an agent’s whole career by getting too involved, becoming irrational during a case.

“Drew Jacobs. We talked to him this afternoon. His wife, Aubrey, was victim number 3.”

(Y/N) listened to Prentiss, gazing at the file before her. Beautiful pictures of a blonde woman were paperclipped within, similar snapshots of her daughter – a daughter that held much of her likeness.

It made her insides clench, noticing the poor girl, “She’s never going to have a mother around.”

Spencer licked his lips, fumbling his fingers through other case files as he tried to observe her, “No. It’s unfortunate.”

(Y/N) flickered her eyes to him, seeing the immediate concern behind his gaze. “And that’s her laptop?”

“Yes, we did a data sweep over it and we’ll have to take it back to the house,” Emily responded, also noticing the slight uneasiness in (Y/N)’s demeanor.

But they continued the work on the files, Prentiss being taken away by the local sheriff for records of pet ownership amongst the possible unsubs. It left Spencer and (Y/N) quietly shuffling through other paperwork, muttering theories as they went.

Reid couldn’t help but stare, his eyes seeming to x-ray her – him trying to figure out what he could do to comfort her. She simply droned on, moving her gaze to the laptop multiple times before snapping up at Spencer’s voice.

“You okay?”

She met his light eyes, his brows knitted into concern at her blank expression, “Yeah, it’s just… you know – the families. They’ve lost so much… in such a horrendous way. It doesn’t seem fair, does it?”

He found the urge to console her but had no idea how to shift past the awkward tension, “You know there’s an average of 5.3 murders per capita per day in America? That’s about 53 murders per 100 thousand people per day, meaning that there’s a lot of families being affected each day. And… and because of such a statistical average we shouldn’t feel obligated or at fault for each death because there’s no possible way we could prevent such a vast number over a land mass such as America. That’s like saying we could imprison every serial killer in the 3.8 million square miles of the United States…” he attempted at a smile, quickly realizing that (Y/N)’s frown was getting deeper and deeper.

“Which is incomprehensible with that sizeable area and such a small team, not to mention that it’s estimated that there are around 2,000 serial killers at large in the US at this given moment. Essentially, we shouldn’t blame ourselves for…”

“I get it, Reid. There are hundreds of deaths happening each week that we have no control over,” she clenched her jaw, staring at the laptop, “And the only comfort we have for the families are statistics, false hope, and bad news.”

Spencer found his tongue sticking to the roof of his mouth. Of course he resorted to rambling in a split second decision to do something nerve wracking. But the way she stood there without an ounce of feeling in her face really hit him hard. He had to do something.

“Do you want a coffee?”

She sighed, swallowing hard, “Are you trying to get me addicted?”

He opened his mouth, confused again, “Why would I want…?”

“Yes, I’ll take a coffee,” she hinted at a smile, “Gesh, Spence… you’d think my humor would rub off on you at some point.”

There was a pause as he caught onto the sarcasm, “I’ll be right back.”

And he skid out of the room quickly, extremely proud of himself that he was able to get (Y/N) to almost smile.

Little did he know that (Y/N) was now eyeing the laptop with a hard expression. She knew it was against protocol to leave without informing Hotch – especially with her being so new to the game. But if there’s one thing she’s learned from the last five minutes, it’s that no family should be treated as a statistic.

And they deserved to have their possessions returned to them in person by an agent familiar with the case.

~~~

Rossi moved the phone to speaker as other BAU members gathered around the table, “Garcia, we need you to run a few more names. Phillip Long.”

Within seconds the tech guru spit back an answer with precision, “Long has no suspicions on his record, no arrests, and no technology either.”

Reid stood among the men – a coffee clutched in his hand; another full cup was left on a desk behind him. He wasn’t able to find (Y/N) after his initial visit to the breakroom for the drinks. And it wasn’t sitting well with him that she just disappeared.

You could visibly see the mental battle bombarding his psyche as he attempted to listen to the others. He knew she was showing signs of being too involved, he knew she was struggling not to do something more for the case.

Should he say something to Hotch and possibly get her career flagged by a broken rule?

“Drew Jacobs,” Rossi continued.

Reid found his mind being triggered to a memory by the said name. The name of one of the victim’s husbands.

“Drew Jacobs has a couple of arrests for assault when he was younger,” Garcia typed away from the speaker phone, “I’ll give you more details on that in a sec. Is this the husband of the woman whose computer I went through?”

Reid became very still, halting his fidgeting. The laptop.

“Yeah,” Morgan responded, noting the change of demeanor from Spencer.

“She was really unhappy with him,” Garcia continued. “She said he was distant, he left her alone at night. He would wander outside – in fact, he was at the top of the suspect pool until his wife was killed.”

Rossi shared looks with the rest of the men, speculating before Reid dropped his cup of coffee and ran for the door. His satchel hit the frame hastily as he dove for keys to any sort of government vehicle outside, running for the black SUVs parked on the street.

He knew he should’ve said something – he knew he should’ve called her as soon as he realized she was gone – he knew he shouldn’t have left her alone.

And now she was going to pay for his ignorance.

Practically slamming into a car, Reid pulled out his phone to dial, already knowing his destination from the case files he memorized. He was finding adrenaline coursing through him like nothing he had ever experienced. His eyes were dilated, breathing abnormal, and palms unusually sweaty. He was panicking.

“Agent (Y/L/N).”

“(Y/N)!” Reid yelled, quickly catching his fault in volume and reducing to an acceptable rate, “Where are you?”

There was a hint of something off in her tone, “Without a doubt, sir.”

His heart skipped a beat, a bubbling entering his stomach, “Are you at Drew Jacobs?”

There was a breath, “Yes, sir.”  

Reid turned a corner, finding a third-party line attempting to patch through. He quickly tapped the accept button, finding Hotch on the other end.

It was strange for Spencer – to experience a moment where his brain wasn’t working.

“She… she’s at the unsubs house,” he tried to explain, blinking hard to focus on the road – to get to (Y/N). “She’s not alone.”

“Can you get out of there?” Hotch asked calmly, only concern in his voice. “(Y/N).”

The amount of time it took her to answer caused Reid’s stomach to flip into knots, his fingers itching to move as she responded, “I’m sorry, sir. I, uh… I can’t do that.” And she hung up.

“(Y/N)?” Reid panicked more, hitting his hand against the steering wheel, just minutes away from the designated house. “(Y/N)!”

Hotch spoke quickly over the phone, “Jacobs has her. She has no gun – we need to go.”

“Son of a bitch,” Morgan muttered, leaning into the phone, “Stay calm, Reid. We’ll be there soon.”

In return, Spencer threw his phone into the next seat, swerving to get to the driveway – wasting no more time. The team was on their way and would only be minutes behind him, though that was only a mere thought in the back of his mind. He was too concerned about getting into the actual house.

He extracted his gun, checking for any signs of movement in the windows. His breath was coming out in rapid, short bursts.

He was having flashes strike his mind… moments that he had shared with (Y/N) in the past. Lectures – coffee shops – libraries – hallows eve festivals – science projects – poetry slams – dinners with the team – driving her home – the urge to hold her hand – her beautiful smile.

He was not about to let her die like this.

Within a burst of high energy, Reid was already through the door, vaguely hearing a rustling coming from upstairs. Attempting to keep some sort of composure, he raised his gun, aiming it at the staircase.

The sound of struggling grew more violent, an awful choking noise becoming evident to his ears. Another surge of adrenaline forced him up the stairs quickly, almost fumbling near the top. The adjacent bedroom had its door open wide, figures flailing on the ground. A little girl was crying.

Jacobs had (Y/N) pinned to the floor, his hands hungrily squeezing her throat. Her legs were trying to buck him off, slowly losing vigor as she suffocated.

Reid found his voice hoarse, “Drew Jacobs, release the agent and back away. You have three seconds.”

(Y/N) moved her eyes to him; they were growing red and full of unshed tears. She gaped her mouth, moving her lips with silent pleas. And her fingers were losing the energy needed to claw at her attacker’s hands.

“Mr. Jacobs!” Reid yelled again, unable to see an alternative to the heat in the man’s eyes. And in a second he fired his weapon, two shots directly in the unsubs back.

It took only a second longer for Jacobs to release her, slumping to the side in a quick death.

Reid ran for her, putting his gun swiftly away in its holster to free his hands. (Y/N) gave a wracking cough, trying to fill her lungs with air once more. Her eyes were watering, a harsh mark quickly developing around her neck and chest.

With a closer look, Reid could see what a beforehand struggle inflicted on her: a few good gashes from a pocketknife the unsub had on him.

“(Y/N), thank God,” he sloppily brushed away pieces of her hair to free her face. He placed a hand on her shoulder, another behind her head, “You’ll be okay… you’ll be okay.”

She coughed more, sucking in painful breaths, “I… I’m sorry.”

He swallowed hard, finding his adrenaline invoking more spur of the moment actions – he pulled her into his chest, hugging her tightly.

“Don’t… we’ll talk about that later. We’ve got to get you to a hospital.”

She leaned into him, exhausted from the struggle, and he was finding it difficult to want to move from the spot. She was so fragile in that moment, real tears mixing in from the ones forced out of her.

“I just… I just wanted o-one family to feel seen. To not be considered a st-statistic.”

Reid bit the inside of his cheek, “Your heart is just too big for your own good.” He couldn’t help but smile, holding her there, “The team will be here any second and we can get you the help you need.”

“Please don’t leave me, Spence.” She struggled with breath, her throat bruising, “I don’t want you to go.”

And he wrapped his arms around her tighter, shock slowly numbing away, “Anything you need, (Y/N). You can always count on me to be there.”

~~~

Buy Me a Coffee?

Tag List:

@caswinchester2000 @aria253264 @bippity-boppity-boopa @reid-187​

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[radramblog]

Top 5 Games, ever...?

This was sort of on my mind, considering the recent GOTY post I made. Come explore the hyperfixations that managed to stick around long enough to be my top 5 list. 

5. Uhhhhhh

So turns out I haven’t figured out what number 5 is yet. I suppose instead I’ve got to split it among the honourable mentions, huh.

Kirby Super Star Ultra is probably the best game from the GBA/DS era of the series and is just a blast to play. It introduced Masked Dedede, and all the banging music and memes that come with it, and probably deserves a spot here just for that.

The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth removes all the awkward Flash Stuff from the excellent original, and adds so, so much more content- the game’s final expansion still isn’t out yet as of writing but even now there’s just so much to unlock. While some aspects of the game can be pretty unforgiving, you probably aren’t going to be exposed to the worst of it unless you get into it pretty hardcore, and if you do, you’ll get used to it. It’s a roguelike, after all.

Speaking of roguelikes, FTL: Faster than Light is chaotic yet serene, brutal but fair, and a bunch of other pretentious dichotomies wrapped into a neat little bow. It takes some getting used to the mechanics, but once you get the hang of it, building your little ship up and up in the face of all odds is extremely satisfying. Have fun dying hopefully not too many times.

SPEAKING of permadeath, Realm of the Mad God gets a spot here just out of sheer hours I’ve spent with it. After a messy few years with a not-so-great owner lead me to dropping the game, it seems finally to have recovered and has devs and community that actually freaking care about it, which is nice. Also, it’s free, and the recent transition to unity has the game looking better and playing smoother than 12-year-old me could ever have dreamed of.

Terraria isn’t just 2D Minecraft btw, its actually more of an RPG/Metroidvania thing, you probably know at this point, but its pretty good hey. Still haven’t fully dove into 1.4 but considering I thought Red was done at 1.1 I’m not complaining with what I have played.

 4. Fallout: New Vegas

(...ish??)

I’d argue that between the primitiveness of the original Fallout games (I’ve tried to get into them, but I just can’t) and how…meh… the other Bethesda ones are, New Vegas is the only one in the series to stand up strong. Obsidian’s excellent writing and tweaks to the gameplay of 3 make New Vegas feel like an actual world, rich and characterised, which was something I found lacking in previous open-world RPGs I’d played up until that point (which admittedly might just have been Skyrim). It’s a game that challenges you to make choices that actually matter for more than the mere moments of an altered dialogue tree, both in dialogue and character building, which helps make the game actually replayable. It is also the first game in a long time that really sold the idea of DLC on me, seeing as each of the game’s 4 expansions adds an entire new region of world with its own stories and unique gameplay, tying together with the main plot but standing on their own. I am excluding Gun Runner’s Arsenal from this for obvious reasons, though it isn’t like GRA is a bad DLC or anything- on the contrary, the sheer scope of modifications and munitions makes playing a repair/science-based character incredibly fulfilling- but it just isn’t at the same scope as the other 4 (Courier’s stash barely counts seeing as its just oops! All preorder bonuses).

New Vegas is one of the few games I have actually 100% completed, achievements and all, but I’m still pretty sure there are bits I’ve missed, paths I haven’t taken, characters I haven’t talked to. Despite its inhospitability, the Mojave is always a comfortable place to return to.

 3. VA-11 Hall-A

(Hey look, my phone background)

Vallhalla is a masterclass in storytelling, atmosphere, and aesthetic. Like all good cyberpunk dystopias, you get themes of class and transhumanism and artificial intelligence, but they aren’t the point of Vallhalla. Through the window and lens of cyberpunk and PC98 nostalgia is focussed a surprisingly human story centred around the protagonist, Jill, which through multiple replays still hits me in the feels just so. Of course, Jill’s story is not the only one being discussed, as every single patron of the bar has their own life going on, and the glimpses we get imply a rich, often interconnected, world. Glitch City is, frankly, a shithole, and it’s not like you don’t get some assholes coming into the bar while you’re working it. The first patron you serve, in fact, is a great example of this- Donovan D. Dawson, essentially a parody of J. Jonah Jameson, is a colossal prick and knows it- but its clear he has his own system of morals and it is mentioned that he’s excellent at his job, much as he gripes about it. He’s rude and more than a little sexist, but frustratingly charismatic and authoritative, and he’s just one of many people who show up throughout the game. Vallhalla is the perfect game to sit down, grab your preferred beverage, and just relax with.

 2. Total Annihilation

(This image is on the steam page for this one, despite blatantly not being from vanilla TA)

I think I actually need to explain this one. Total Annihilation was a game released in 1997 made largely by Chuck Taylor, who would later go on to produce spiritual successor Supreme Commander. It’s an RTS game featuring exclusively robotic units with a fairly chunky aesthetic, allowing the visuals to age better than some, and a fully orchestrated soundtrack by Jeremy Soule, who would later go on to do work on a whole bunch of stuff, most notably Skyrim.

Total Annihilation is an intensely nostalgic game for me, being one of the first games I ever got to play as a kid outside of edutainment stuff, and I’d argue still holds up today (especially with the excellent Escalation mod). What it lacks in story (it’s pretty basic, but functional) it makes up for being miles ahead of its time mechanically, being the first (?) RTS to function in 3 dimensions- heights of things actually matter, hills exist and certain units climb them better than others, shooting down airplanes is difficult without anti-air but possible if you aim *just* right. While appearing pretty similar and having largely analogous units, the two factions of Arm and Core are well fleshed-out in terms of aesthetic and playstyle- Arm preferring fast and cheap equivalents to Core’s slow but powerful- and the unit variety is sufficient that strategies can vary wildly based on the map. Both campaigns as well as those from the game’s expansions are challenging, but satisfying, limiting the units you can produce to force exploration of different playstyles.

Total Annihilation isn’t something I tend to binge play for hours anymore, but I’ll pick it up for a bit every so often, and I don’t see that stopping for a long time (especially due to the recent steam release).

 1. Pokémon Emerald

(At the top, where it belongs)

Yeah, this was inevitable. Pokémon is my favourite series ever; Emerald is my favourite in the series. Go figure.

Emerald, being the final game for the franchise’s days on the Game Boy, reflects everything Game Freak had learned in the first 3 generations of the series’ history. The game’s balance is challenging but fair, never spiking so tough that it is insurmountable but never holding your hand either. The AI opponents are throwing odd combinations of mons and moves at you from every corner, double battles are everywhere but rarely mandatory, and the variety of available mon both before and during the postgame is excellent. The added features on top of Ruby and Sapphire are great- Battle Tents serve to replace 3 of the contest halls (they should have all been under one roof to begin with) and provide a taste of what would later be available in the Battle Frontier. The Frontier is probably the single most expansive and challenging postgame in any Pokémon game, providing the game with a longevity that is sorely needed due to the inaccessibility of Pre-DS multiplayer. The game also manages to tie together the plot of both Ruby and Sapphire into something that feels natural, and provides the series’ first ever actual cutscene, which felt a lot cooler at the time than it sounds now. The return of animated sprites gives the Pokémon a level of life far beyond the static sprites of RSFRLG, and in my eyes wouldn’t feel the same until Black and White several years later. The return of the Pokégear phone in the form of Match Call, as irritating as it is to some, makes the world feel alive in a way that Sinnoh and Kanto probably never will, in addition to making grinding a fair bit less tedious and more beneficial. It is, altogether, probably the perfect Pokémon experience, and in my opinion only one other game comes close (its Platinum).

Oh also, they got rid of the font from Ruby and Sapphire, thank fuck, that shit is atrocious.

[rabblerauser]

Heya! I love trans Naoto, but I think the way the game handled this kind of sucked. In the game it implies that Naoto was only presenting as male because detectives were seen as a male exclusive occupation, but the game also threw in stuff about how Naoto was more comfortable in the male uniform, and then they ALSO threw in this dialogue option in Naoto's social link: "I'm glad you're a girl". Because of all this back-and-forth BS the game did, I personally hc Naoto as genderfluid. Thoughts?

(Genderfluid Naoto anon) ALSO; I don't like the way Kanji was handled either. He was into Naoto before he knew they were trans, and when he found out, he was still into them. I like to believe that this is solely because Kanji loves and respects trans people, but the way the developers handled it, it ended up looking like Kanji was relieved Naoto was female (not saying Naoto's female). It's like the developers are implying lgbt reps, and then going "Haha, wrong! Everyone's a cishet!". Thoughts?

i could talk for 20 years about naoto thank u for asking i am here and ready to talk. also yes genderfluid naoto is so valid!!!! my first drawing of them was with a genderfluid flag shirt!!!

yes, the way atlus treats naoto is terrible. its not consistent, we dont see dojima or any of the other police officers looking down on naoto even when theyre outed, and naoto’s mom was a successful detective in her own right, so whats the real answer here? but i think that piece plays a lot into them being trans; “its okay i can still be a girl im just pretending to be a boy for the job” aka internalized transphobia (i experienced this a lot when i was younger). 

there are a ton of other bits ive saved from arena that just shoehorn in the fact that naoto is a trans coded character, the devs just dont respect that at all. throughout all the games naoto appears in, there are always comments about their body which always makes them uncomfortable!!! they also always get outed again, inevitably, and it turns into the “youre a girl?!?!?!” moment which is terrible and i hate that so much.

i love kanji, atlus treats him horribly, too. kanji and naoto deserve so much better than they got. kanji is a gay coded character whether atlus wants to admit it or not, but its expressed in such a shitty way. i could get into all the issues i have w kanjis writing but ill save that in case someone else wants to talk w me about it.

kanji 100% respects trans people and always goes the extra mile for naoto, in my mind. theres a fanfic out there with trans man naoto where theyre all on the camping trip and kanji is extremely adamant about letting naoto stay with the boys because....they are a boy. he really goes to bat for naoto and that just warms my heart so much.... also theyre both alienated at school because people think poorly of them, but they find solidarity in being lgbt and i love that. there is so much potential with naoto and kanji and it sucks that nobody bothered to do it right, and just write off two great characters for some shitty tropes and laughs.

its not a secret that atlus doesnt respect lgbt people tho. i know as long as naoto keeps appearing in their media, theyll continue to pull the same shit. and it sucks.

(arena screencaps are here) 

[gabepont]

March 17: Death, Love, and Soccer

“Hatred is easy. Love requires effort and sacrifice.” Marek Edelman, leader of the Warsaw Ghetto uprising. He died in 2009.

Hi! Quick heads-up that this post has a lot of graphic info about the Holocaust. If that’s not something you’re comfortable with, that’s okay! Check back in tomorrow.

By far the most emotional moment of the day was standing inside of the memorial to the Umshlagplatz. Located just outside of the where the wall for the Ghetto would have been, it was a railway station. In 1942, the Nazis began the process of relocating the Jews in the Ghetto. At a rate of around 6,000 per day, Jews were systematically removed from the Ghetto and taken to what they thought would be their new home. In reality, they met death at Treblinka.

The memorial itself was really emotional for me. It was a very simple standing rectangle of concrete, with the names of many Jews inscribed into the walls.  A plaque reads “Along this path of suffering and death over 300,000 Jews were driven in 1942-1943 from the Warsaw Ghetto to the gas chambers of the Nazi extermination camps.” It’s printed in English, Yiddish, and Polish, reflecting the varying groups who find sorrow in this narrative.

There’s a really troubling story of Adam Czerniaków, the German-appointed head of the Warsaw Ghetto Jewish Council. The Germans asked him to sign an order that would instruct Jews to comply with the “resettlement” to the east. Czerniaków saw that his people would be sent to their deaths, and he committed suicide. He left a note saying, “They demand me to kill children of my nation with my own hands. I have nothing to do but to die.” Many of the other members of the Jewish uprising thought that he was a coward for choosing death over armed resistance.

At the memorial, I was scanning the names of people. There were no last names, because the Germans did not keep good records. Instead, there were just a bunch of first names of people living in the Ghetto at the time. I found Gabriel. My own name. My name, which is my own. Someone in the Ghetto owned my name before it was given to me. It’s unfathomable to me to think of the magnitude of the death, but it’s even more painful to think about the individual lives that were shoved into the fires of Auschwitz and starved in the Ghettos of Warsaw.

I’m not doing a good job of explaining my feelings at this memorial. I felt more than sadness. For the first time, I felt loss, and a deep sense of fear. What’s interesting about all of this is that our tour guide related that the memorial was built in the 1980s, as a way for the nationalist government to show that they supported the Jews and recognized the difficult history of the nation. Even with all of the deep and complex emotions I was feeling, the reason for the creation of this intensely moving statue was completely political and superficial. Within a few years, the government, and communism, would fall and Poland would change yet again.

Next, we began our trek to the Polin Museum, which was around a mile away. At one point, I asked Anna, one of our tour guides, what a piece of graffiti on the wall meant. It said “Polonia,” but it was crossed out with black spraypaint. She laughed, and explained that it was a piece of graffiti that supported the Legia soccer team, one of the two teams in Warsaw. Legia Warszawa and Polonia Środa have a deep rivalry, and the entire city is divided over which team to support. Your allegiance depends on what neighborhood you live in, which makes choosing a home a perilous activity. What’s interesting is that the statistically better team is obvious. Most European soccer leagues are divided into multiple tiers, with the best teams playing in the upper tiers. When a team has a bad season, they’re relegated to one of the lower leagues, where the stakes are lower and the revenues are significantly less. Upper tiers get much better benefits, like more airtime on television (and thus more money), and the opportunity to play international talent outside of their league. Legia is one of the best teams in Poland, and is currently sitting in second place of Liga I, the highest league of Polish soccer. Polonia is not as successful. They’re having a pitiful year, and are in ninth place of Liga III, the lowest professional league in the country.

But this disparity does not stop supporters for showing their pride. All across the city, there’s a constant barrage of support for both teams, painted onto the buildings and spilling into the streets. I wish that we were in the country for a game, but we’re missing all of the games in Warsaw by a few days.

All of this is so different from the culture of American professional sports. Because the highest leagues are the only ones that people truly care about, most cities do not house teams that have bitter rivalries. Although the Red Sox and Yankees are the fiercest of rivals, it takes one a massive amount of capital to attend a game, let alone a game five hours away from home. That’s something that I appreciate about European soccer; it doesn’t matter whether your team is good. Your pride in them is based in your love of the team and the city more than in the results. Bandwagon fans are more rare here. Interestingly, the best Polish soccer players don’t even play in Poland. Robert Lewandowski, the centerpiece of Poland’s 2018 World Cup run, plays with Bayern Munich, the top team in Germany and one of the most talented teams in the world.

But enough about Polish soccer. Back to why we’re here.

At the Polin Museum, I felt a lot of feelings. It walked the audience through the history of Jews in Poland, starting from the 900s, when Jewish merchants began establishing communities along the trade route winding from the west to the east. A lot of the classwork that we did in Medieval Jewish History with Professor Gampel truly came alive while walking through the columns and artwork from medieval Europe. It was amazing!!

Once we got closer to the present day, things got difficult. The museum took the magnitude of the atrocity of the Holocaust and made it individual and small in a way that was uncomfortable and viscerally painful. I wrote some stuff down, but it’s in my notebook upstairs. I’ll type it out later.

The museum took you through the Jewish culture that was being created and lived in Poland throughout time, until 1939. There were conversations about Jewish law, questions about marriages, dialogues about who the Jews should wait for and to what extent they should participate in popular culture and democracy. Their lives were like ours in more ways than I can count. But then, everything changed. The Nazis exterminated more than physical bodies. They took Jewish culture and life and soul and literature and murdered all of it. Out of the six million Jewish lives snuffed out between 1939 and 1945, three and a half million were from Poland. By 1945, there were 5,000 Jews living in Poland. In the entire country. All of those lives and eyes and ideas and jokes and laughs and souls. It is so painful for me to think about.

The museum left me in a big funk for the rest of the day. Seeing myself and my family as present in Poland was really hard. Really fucking hard. Hopefully it gets easier. But I’m not confident that it will.

--Gabe

[placetobenation]

Welcome to Seinfeld: The PTBN Series Rewatch! On a regular basis, JT Rozzero, Aaron George and Andrew Flanagan will watch an episode of TV’s greatest sitcom and provide notes and grades across a number of categories. The goal is to rewatch the entire series chronologically to see what truly worked, what still holds up today, what feels just a bit dated and yada, yada, yada it will be a great time. So settle into your couch with the cushions flipped over, grab a Snapple and enjoy the ride!

Best Character

JT: I liked Kramer the most here. He had some real funny lines and physical comedy throughout this one. His buried conversation enders are so good, especially slipping in that Newman was sleeping in Jerry’s bed. I also loved the delivery of his “for a fat man” line to Jerry. He was on his game in this one.

Aaron:  You’d think a pile of lesbians were fighting/lovemaking on stage if you were reading my mind, sifting through the depravity and listening to the “Jerry, Jerry, Jerry” chant. In an episode full of characters trying waaaaaay too hard, Jerry delivers with one liner after one liner. Imagine an episode where Jerry Seinfeld is the most grounded of the actors. This is it. Wait till you see the score.

Andrew: I think it was Elaine. The obsession with proving someone wrong, even at great cost to yourself, always gets me. Also, I’m a sucker for Elaine annoying people with a cigar.

Best Storyline

JT: I liked the blood the most. Jerry was annoying at points by being such an ungrateful bitch but he had some good dismissive lines and watching battle the Mandelbaums again was well done. And like I said above, I really enjoyed Kramer and this was the story he lived in for most of the episode. The meat sex stuff had funny moments but not much of a story to it and the Elaine stuff was fine too but didn’t have as many laughs.

Aaron: Polish, sausage, dancing.

Andrew: I’ll go with The Blood. I wasn’t a fan of any of the storylines, really, but the return of the Mandelbaums was my favorite part of the episode.

Ethical Dilemma of the Week

JT: If someone saves your life, you should probably not be a dick to them as soon as later that day.

Aaron: I’m going to go the opposite of JT and ask: even if you’ve saved someone’s life (which us debatable considering they were in a hospital full of blood) how do you live with yourself bringing a sworn enemy literally into someone’s bed? I get that these guys share a lot, but do they not even have a bed for that beast of a mailman to sleep in? If anything Kramer STILL owes Jerry favors for years of mooching and advantage taking. Has he ever borrowed that car without completely destroying it?

Andrew: What is the limit of the obligation when graciously accepting a gift from one’s parents? I’m going to say it’s somewhere short of “tying myself to a car”.

Relationship Scale (Scale 1-10)

JT: Kramer and Jerry, finally brought together by blood. A love made official. Relationship Grade: 3 Pints of Kramer/10

Aaron: George should keep banging that Vivian like a middle aged Neil Peart stuffing his face and trudging his way through YYZ. Relationship Grade: Boun ba ba boun ba baoun baoun baoun, ba ba baoun, ba ba baoun. Baoun badrrruuum. Down da down da down daaaaun. Dawn da down de daoun daounnnnnnn.

Andrew: I know the kid is presented as a burden, but I’m into the George and Vivian pairing. I just like the thought that there is a match for every kink out there. Relationship Grade: 10 sensual cured meats/10

What Worked:

JT: The plum diet seems like a good one; I always mark out for Morty saying “Mister Kramer”; Jerry’s point about responsibility is good one; George’s bus transfer excuse made me laugh; Jerry and George’s conversation about George bailing on Tara was really funny; Kramer going all in on calling Jerry fat in various ways was great; I enjoyed Elaine shoving Kramer into the bushes and smacking him with the broom as he yelped; I liked the payoff with the exacto knife, it was set up well earlier in the episode; Kramer demonstrating how he would rip out his kidney was great; Canadian Parliament; Newman sneaking in to watch the movie; Izzy putting the hurting on Jerry with his training was well done; the sausage making scene is a classic; Jerry calling George “Caligula”; Newman giving Jerry his blood was a good capper

Aaron: All of Jerry’s analysis and pleading with George to, for once think of someone’s else’s needs. The group screaming and Kramer’s messed up justification for needing to store so much blood in a blood bank. As someone who has watched Canadian parliament it busted me up to learn that Kramer not only watches, but records for later viewing. It’s not nearly as polite as one would imagine. Think more childish, with a lot of high pitched voices screeching “MISTER SPEAKER.” George’s series of lies, which inexplicably won over Vivian,  were great and the only thing that felt anywhere in the realm of reality.

Andrew: There’s not much to praise here, story-wise, but the episode still has some memorably great dialog. Kramer’s “for a fat man, you’re not very jolly” is excellent, and George and Jerry have some great back and forth in the diner (“I’m not suggesting getting rid of the girl”, followed by the “needs” line, is the high point for me). Elaine being compelled to prove her responsibility, and getting stuck with a permanent babysitting gig as a result, was well done. I enjoyed seeing the Mandlebaums again, and Kramer’s screen door callback got me.

What Didn’t Work

JT: Tara saying “love making”, eh; Jerry being so insanely afraid of Kramer’s blood was a bit much, just way too over the top; someone should pull a President Lincoln on that kid; I also thought Jerry was really ungrateful for Kramer’s blood, dude saved your life… stop being a bitch; who fucks a random at their kids’ birthday party?; The Izzy voiceovers at the end were terrible; why is Jimmy wearing that hat? Is it 1954?

Aaron: Is Jerry dead? They dragged him for a quarter mile which was way longer than it took to kill that dog in National Lampoon’s Vacation. This whole episode felt fake. If the paragraph above is what I felt worked then you can comfortably put the rest here. I know George has pulled some schemes but are we really to believe that a man whose entire mission in life has been to get laid, is now trading that for food and television? What kind of animal is this man? What’s wrong with Jerry? I get he’s a germaphobe, but he can’t be in a building with blood. A building???? Elaine would rather raise a child than tell a woman she barely seems to know or care about that she hates her son. Her son might be the most hateable character in western civilization. Even Kramer felt forced. I get he’s dumb, but blood in a car? Come on writers. Do better. I don’t want to go on any more. This was a mess. Also Mandelbaum sucked the high hard one.

Andrew: Vivian is wearing a gray pantsuit the first two times we see her, which seems pretty unimaginative. The dubbing of Mr. Mandlebaum’s dialogue at the end has always seemed really distracting to me.

Key Character Debuts

– Vivian

Iconic Moments, Running Themes & Memorable Quotes

– “That’s why we joined a program. We walk once around the block three times a week.” – Helen “And every morning I eat a plum.” – Morty

– “Did you give blood?” – Jerry “No, not giving. hoarding. I’m storing it in to a blood bank. Just in case.” – Kramer “In case of what?” – Jerry “Jerry, I know myself. If I’m out on the street and it’s starts to go down, I don’t back off until it’s finished.” – Kramer

– “I know, I’m glad I got to see him before he hit puberty and got, you know all lurchy and awkward.” – Elaine

– “Who wants to responsible? When ever anything goes wrong, the first thing they ask is: who’s responsible for this?” – Jerry

– “So, she didn’t appreciate the erotic qualities of the salted cured meats?” – Jerry “She tolerated the strawberries and the chocolate sauce, but eh, it’s not a meal, you know? Food and sex, those are my two passions. It’s only natural to combine them.” – George

– “Maybe instead of trying to satisfy two of your needs, how about satisfying one of somebody else’s.” – Jerry

– “You know, for a fat guy you’re not very jolly.” – Kramer

– “You? I’m more responsible than you are!” – Elaine “Don’t be ridiculous. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go to fill my freezer with my own blood.” – Kramer

– “Oh yeah, you’ve got three pints of Kramer in you, buddy.” – Kramer

– “She’s right, I heard Kramer got mugged out on the suburbs on a baby-sitting gig.” – Kramer

– “So, my blood is not enough. Would you like a kidney too, because I’ll give it to you? I’ll rip it out right here and stack it on the table!” – Kramer

– “So, the free love buffet is over?” – Jerry “I got greedy. Flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami.” – Jerry “Yeah, that’s what you did…I can’t believe I got another session with Izzy Mandelbaum, he’s probably makes me box a kangaroo.” – Jerry

– “All right, Even Steven. Oh, by the way, when you get back to your apartment try to keep it down because Newman is taking a nap in your bed.” – Kramer

– “Yes it is. I find the pastrami to be the most sensual of all the salted cured meats. Hungry?” – Vivian

Oddities & Fun Facts

– Lloyd Bridges was nominated for an Emmy for his role as Izzy Mandelbaum

Overall Grade (Scale 1-10)

JT: This wasn’t the strongest episode we have watched and did fade at the end but there is some quality dialogue peppered all through this one. It is definitely an episode carried on the back of actors that know their characters and relationships on a top notch, deep level because it was often the timing and delivery that made the big lines pop. The Mandelbaum return was a nice surprise but that really just kind of ends too, as do all of the stories here. Nothing quite paid off in a satisfying way. Also, that stupid fucking hat that Vivian’s kid had on was obnoxious. Fuck him. I am off to box a kangaroo. Final Grade: 6/10

Aaron: This episode sucked. It felt like a different show devoid of the characters we know and love. The writing was forced and I feel worse for having watched this one. Final Grade: 1/10

Andrew: I didn’t really care for this one. None of the storylines do it for me, which makes it hard for me get into the episode. And there are no big moments to make up for the less-than-inspired writing. But there are some genuine laughs and quality dialogue to be found, so the episode isn’t a complete disaster. Final Grade: 6/10

[fe8meta]

Tana's Role in Ephraim route’s Chapter 19 and Epilogue

    As one of the only two recruitable royals who can die, Tana has an “optional” expanded role in Ephraim’s route that depends on whether she is alive or dead at that point, much like Joshua in Eirika’s. However, Tana’s role is treated quite oddly by the script, in such a way that makes me suspect that the story might even intend for Tana to be killed by Chapter 19 of Ephraim’s route. (The story doesn’t really follow up on the ramifications of her death, but hey, if I’m gonna speculate this much, why not go the extra mile.)

    The two biggest points to my suspicions are: a) L’Arachel’s dialogue with Ephraim gets more detail, which I will go into; and b) unlike Joshua in Eirika’s route, she won’t speak to Ephraim in the epilogue even if she’s alive. Innes, who has plot armor and cannot die in battle, will speak to Ephraim.

    The second point is pretty straightforward: Joshua gets dialogue with Eirika in the epilogue if he survives the whole game. Tana does not get dialogue with Ephraim if she does. And given the other alternate dialogue options throughout the game, I’m pretty sure rom space wasn’t the issue here. There was a deliberate decision not to give Tana dialogue. In Eirika’s epilogue, if Joshua is dead, Myrrh (who has plot armor) will take his place, but there is no such option for Tana despite her increased relevance in Ephraim’s route. (It could possibly be justified as the epilogue featuring the future leaders of their respective countries, with Myrrh as the “leader” of Darkling Woods, but I don’t see it as a very strong defense.)

    As for Chapter 19B, Tana’s dialogue with Ephraim is interesting because she sort of represents the “old” Ephraim, the Ephraim who still believed in friendship bonds and the idea that those bonds would never be broken. If she’s dead, L’Arachel is able to relate to the Ephraim whose trust, beliefs, and determination have been utterly shattered. Tana reminds Ephraim of his old sentiments and gives him the determination to put an end to everything where L’Arachel’s admission of their similarities comforts Ephraim about his own emotions.

Tana’s conversation:

Ephraim: (eyes half-closed) ...... Tana: Come on, Ephraim, cheer up. E: What are you talking about, Tana? There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m always like this. T: That’s not true. I’ve never seen you look so sad as you do right now. If you’re depressed, I'm sure my brother would worry... And I...well, I... E: ...... Tana. You’re the princess of Frelia. Perhaps it’s unwise of you to be so friendly to Eirika and me. After all, alliances aside, our two countries’ needs may differ. Who knows what the future holds? Those ties could snap in an instant... T: No! Don’t say that! E: And why not? T: You and Eirika are both my friends. We come from different countries, it's true, but...but... No matter what happens, the friendship I feel for you will never change! E: (opens his eyes) ...... I’m sorry, Tana. I wasn't thinking straight. Please don't cry. T: Ephraim... E: You’re right, though. No matter what happens, the bond between us will never disappear. And it’s because Lyon is my friend that I have to put an end to this. Thank you, Tana.

L’Arachel’s conversation:

Ephraim: (eyes half-closed) ...... L’Arachel: That long face doesn't suit you at all. Has something happened? E: L'Arachel... No, this is how I always am. L: Lying to the daughter of a holy man is a grave sin, don't you know? If you would like to talk, I would like to listen... E: ...... I'm sorry. I can't talk about it. I'm not even planning on telling Eirika what happened. L: You're so stubborn, aren't you? Do you plan on shouldering the entire burden yourself? E: I'm sorry. L: If that's all you're going to say, then there's naught I can do. Have you already decided on your course of action? E: ...... Mm-hm. I'm prepared. L: Well... Then there's no need for me to say anything more, is there? You and I are so alike... You want nothing but to help others. You refuse to show weakness, and you want to accomplish everything yourself. However, you must know that there are times when you must share the burden. E: (opens eyes) That's true... And I feel better for having spoken with you. Thank you, L'Arachel.

    It’s also interesting that in Tana’s conversation, Ephraim doesn’t seem to dredge up the determination to kill Lyon until the end of the conversation. In L’Arachel’s, he’s already made up his mind and then talking to her solidifies his decision. He also doesn’t name Lyon to L’Arachel, simply telling her that he knows what he’ll do; with Tana, she knows his relationship with Lyon before the war, so he name-drops Lyon at the end of their conversation.

    From this, it’s possible that in cases where Tana dies, Ephraim is reeling from both the events of the previous chapter and from the implication that his best friend was directly or indirectly the cause of another friend’s death. It would also explain why he doesn’t want to tell Eirika what happened; she and Tana were close, so the revelation that Lyon knowingly caused the war that claimed both their father’s, and now Tana’s, life would be too much for her to bear.

    In the script where Tana dies, there are actually two possible endings to the chapter, depending on whether Riev was defeated or not. (Tana, like L’Arachel in Eirika’s route, only gets one ending for this chapter.)

L’Arachel A (Riev defeated):

L: And there it is! Victory is ours! E: Yes, we’ve won. L: Ephraim... Did you find the answers you were looking for? E: I did. Thank you, L’Arachel. It's only because of you. L: Wh-who, me? Why, I didn’t-- Come, we should find the Sacred Stone. If anything were to happen to it-- E: L’Arachel? Your face is flushed... Are you feeling unwell? L: N-no, it's nothing. Nothing at all!

L’Arachel B (Riev was not defeated)

L: And there it is! Victory is ours! E: Yes, we’ve won. L: Ephraim? Are you all right? E: Yes, I am. Thank you, L’Arachel. L: Come, we should find the Sacred Stone. If anything were to happen to it--

     This is what I meant by L’Arachel getting more detail; why bother giving two possible endings if Tana’s route is the one that’s “meant” to be seen?

    Taking the above speculation about Ephraim reeling from Tana’s death, perhaps the two chapter endings relate to Ephraim’s sense of failure that has been mounting throughout the story: he failed to see his country’s crisis and thus could do nothing to save his father, he failed to kill the Demon King and discovered that Lyon was willingly behind everything, he couldn’t save Tana, and now, in the second L’Arachel ending, you just barely managed to fend off the remnants of Grado’s army.

    The first L’Arachel ending is practically identical to the chapter ending in Eirika’s route, and frankly, I don’t find that it really fits L’Arachel’s conversation with Ephraim. At no point does he actually ask any questions; in fact, his mind is more or less settled, both from what he says to her and what he says at the start of battle. It feels more like filler, but it doesn’t change the fact that there is a “good” ending for 19B if Tana died.